Loves Me , Loves Me Not

night cycling; W24Q - AY 06/07

2007-02-13T12:49:00.000+08:00

So, here goes the first post for Feb. gonna be a long entry or short, i don't know. anyway, if you guys are missing me, haha. there it goes. back here to some-what update on my life. Nothing much to update thou, everything has still been the same for me. Just that now the hols are here, i've gotta find a job and get the money roll into my account! =) so should there be any jobs to intro, please let me know. I'm dying to earn some money, even thou i hate to work, but no choice cuz i don't have much to spend on my CNY clothings this year!

AY 06/07 has come to an end, that marks the end of Year One for me. Not very looking forward to Year Two, projs are on their way & i could sense that I'm gonna hate my course till there's no tomorrow. Had a course briefing last week and I don't understand everything at all. Don't understand what the modules are talking about. The only thing that interest me was the course offer by Murdoch Uni. HAHAHA, tell me about it. how many Ks in order for me to get my ass over there. hmms.. uh wells, i just pray & very much hope that I've the courage to face this challenge in Year 2.

some photos will do the talking. W24Q - 2nd sem. though is not a very strong-bonded class as compared to the first sem, but still, there're fun within us & that shohurtx is born! haha!

(:

i collage it all cuz I dont have the time to slowly upload one-by-one la. hahas, anyway, first row: lynn & me, char & ray, me & ray.
2nd row: the shohurtx gang, and our silly post with those stuffs on hand, and of cuz, with ah huat! I swear wednesdays won't be fun without him please! I never even skipped any of his lesson la!
3rd row: En ning, the "dua-beh-gong" to be. LOL, char up next where we're there praying to here, and our classroom. tsk.

the four usual gals. hahahhas..

16 weeks just fly past us. yes, we all agree that this class is pretty quiet & weird in someways, but but, i think i'll miss Year One. The ever-slacking poly-life that anyone can have. uh, only Year one i mean. dont be so excited. poly aren't anywhere slack, for God's Sake.

Haven been updating too long, till i don't know how & where should i start on. hmm, previous week wenta work at Vivo, i guess i might choose to go back there again cuz the people are fun! haha. will see how again mans. work work work. money money money.

Just past this week, I wenta Night-Cycling organised by SC ! YAYAA! it was on my wish-list, aren't it? :DD initially didn't sign up, cuz my own clique of friends aren't free. uhh, but last min, kel (chanel's classmate) ask me to peii her. mygod. really damn last minute can. she msged me in the afternoon when the night cycling event was in the night. okae cool, i had fun. hahas, really. and from this event, i guess i somewhat know alill more & feel even more. towards.. uh hmm. HAHA. ask me & i'll tell you! =x

and so, bumped onto Cedric @ interchange, geee.. den we managed to cycle together. the 3 of us. yesyes, had fun! really. and of cuz, there's a price to pay la! my butt's so painn & my whole body's aching away. OHGOD, now you know why i can't play bball on court for so long. too long never excerise already laaa.. We cycled from RP - CCK - MacRitchie - Seletar - RP. WAH. almost died halfway. especially from CCK all the way to MacRitchie. the upslopes & downslopes almost killed all of us. We're all complaining inside our heart please! and when we're on Bukit Timah Road, I sooo wished i can cycle home instead ! My eyes were closing! And on our way to Seletar, passed by my Aunt's place too! i aso wanted to cycle off laaaa.. piangs. So near yet so far. HAHA, past by Jalan Kayu - Roti Prata stall. WAH. me & kel sooo very wished that we can just stopped and grab prata to biteeeee! bth mans. all of us knocked out when we reached Seletar Reservoir for a break. zzz. damn cooling, damn shiok! and the sky that night, was full of STARS ! =DD that's the best thing mans! hahahahaa. 11pm - 7am. cycled all the while other than those breaks at the stops. but still, tiring leh. the best thing is we've police with us while we're cycling on the road. WAH, machiam princess/royal family parading like that. tsktsk, everyone was looking at us wondering what's going on. HAHAHA!!

initially still can sing song with kel while cycling, complain, to the last bit, we kept so quiet as if we're gonna rob the bank. there were a few times where i just very muched to give up, but thank God i didn't, with pride, we're the winners - cuz we never give up! =)~

reached home at 9am plus, bathe, and knocked out again. :/ i slept the whole of sat, only to wake at 830pm, den went back to sleep at 10.30pm again. sleep all the way to Sunday morning. damn shioookkk ! triple eye-lid GONE! =D

but then, hafta aplogise to ame & Sweetheart: sorry that i couldn't meet you girls for ur CNY shopping! really sorry! hope you all understand okae! sweetheart, seeyou soon! i'm missing you! =x

Didn't make my way down to Yunting's chalet too, simply too tired to get out of the house. But thanks chanel for inviting mee. hope you girls have fun there too! :/

VAN: sorry too! you know it yeah. we'll catch up more when we meet up okae! ://

alrights, did i miss out anything? i think i did. but i dont know whats that. nevermind. will update again. OOHH YEAH, one thing. can i don't switch to the new version of blogger? who knows what i'm talking about? help?

gotta get prepared soon. gonna crash into my aunt's place later! cas`outta!

S.H.E - perfect 3 !

2007-01-29T16:15:00.000+08:00

my "staff pass".

hebe!

Ella!

doesn't this picture says it all ?

yeah you bet man. got this job that was suppose to be the crowd-control thingy. but anyway, this job is pretty screwed up bcuz of the freaking POOR MANAGEMENT. but whatever it is, I get to stand right by the side - in front ; so, camera time! i'll regret if i didn't bring it out laa..

didn't get to take a pic of Selina when she walked out, it's either they walked too fast out or it was just bcuz my camera's loading slow. so there. Hebe walked out first thus manage to caught her! luckily the picture wasn't blur or what, else i'll just curse the camera mans.

went off when the event start, was suppose to wait till the whole thing ends then go off - but the person-in-charge clocked us till only 4 ; so there, bird wasn't interested in them & i've no choice but to leave. anyway, nothing much aso la. might as well just leave.

-

changed overnight. for someone else, or was it just you - yourself.

you left me so many questions in mind, not that i'm thinking too much again this time round.. but sometimes, i just really want to know..
why..

there's this saying that goes, "ignorance is bliss." & i always believe in this sentence. but then again, it doesn't mean i don't care/bother.

sometimes i really wonder, if it meant anything to you ;
when you mean so much to me.

quarter-life-crisis - you may called it. fancy not able to think clearly at this age of mine, now, not that i wanted this.. who would want to end up in a situation like how i am now? it hurts, it pains, it's a struggle for me to pull myself up right again.. perhaps you all may see this coming, yes i know, i know that this will come to nowhere, but beneath everything, there just lie a simple message.

it takes 2 hands to clap;
i've shown you my hand out there,
and where's yours, now?

angry.

2007-01-29T14:07:00.000+08:00

i'm so angry at myself & the things are like now.

i'm so angry that i can't change a thing.

my stomach's full of fire now.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

FUCK IT LA HUH.

boring..

2007-01-27T14:31:00.000+08:00

alrights. just some proper update, i guess. forget about the previous emo entry @ class ytd ; was just feeling down but i guess my lovely classmates does cheer me up somehow with those nonsensical stuffs - shohurtx. tsktsk..

after school, headed down to Paya Lebar with Wan Ning, Chanel, Charlene & Melissa for the job that Mel's intro. so much of screwing up that I'm sooo gonna complain to Mel when i see him online or whatever. anyway, met up with Ame too! and we just had fun together la. end my day with all the non-stop hits laughter that Chanel & Ame created. (: but i feel bad on the other hand for Charlene & Melissa. okae, nvm about that. The thing was, it was pouring cats & dogs please. and the bloody office was so right in at some ulu place - RAINING ; imagine us running/~~walking~~ in the rain with our laptops. WOW. how cool can that be. was drenched like some "whatever-you-called-it". reached the office, get all the things done.. waited for Ame & wan ning ; while me & chanel took out our lappy and surf the net! cool la! at least can get connected to wireless there.. here comes the irritating part.

2 guys. GOD. guys. -.-" okae. literally standing at the other corner - opposite us. so, both me & bird was MSN-ing each other ; though we're sitting next to each other. we're laughing at what we type to each other & that 2 irritating BUGGERS was standing now dere. Uh huh; you know la. typical GUYS. so yeah. GOD-DAMN-IRRITATING Please. i can't even settle down to do my school work ; imgaine you're doing work & somebody just stand opposite you, looking/staring/admiring/whatever-ing YOU. WAHPIANG. can die man. and when they left, "bye-bye-bye-bye x 2359826 times".

BUGGERS.

okae, cool. but me & bird had so much fun of bitching over that 2 freaking buggers while waiting for Wan Ning & Ame. the horrible thing is that i did not managed to get my school work done ; had to finish it up at home. how irritating can that be.

few days back was just doing the routine's stuffs. like, what's new? school - home ; to & fro. only then had time to go to grandma's place for dinner, else mom will be nagging away. and the usual me, feeling tired all-time round. slept early and stuffs. wasn't any where late for school ; but i guess the pontan-ing days are coming up soon..

sweetheart: dBlo soon eh? with the rest of us? ame's waiting too! tsk.

-

remain speechless ;
sometimes i wish you would still care alill..

sky's grey..

2007-01-26T12:14:00.000+08:00

// 如果你不再出现我的世界 ;
还有什么可贵 ;

hadn't been blogging, yes i know. i just can't find the time, school's pretty pack and as usual, i'm always still that tired. so yeah.

Some days are quite fine, with the same reasons for why i'm smiling. yet, somedays are just as grey. today is one of them. i don't know how to spell it out now. don't ask me why.. i don't know how to come out with a sentence to describe lately.

I may appear as i don't care, can't be bothered. But honestly, never ask; doesn't mean I don't care. I'm still waiting..

i'hd alot in mind to blog initially, but now i forgot what i wanted to blog already.. hais. WTHHH LAAAAA. i'm tearing up inside me. )):

working not? yes? no? don't know?

perhaps "don't know" can be my new name? everyone (including *) asked me stuffs, all i reply is "don't know".

HAIS. what is this shit. tell me, RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

我的天空今天有点灰...

curl`ed hair. (: (?) / ): (?)

2007-01-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

I WANT BACK MY STRAIGHT LONG HAIRRRRRR !!! PLEASEEEEE !! ))):

rahhhh..

dont drift apart please..

2007-01-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

// In your eyes, I found the greatest prize
You and I could not be closer
And in your arms
Is everything I want.

quick update, just felt like typing, before lessons start. i've just completed the pile of work, and like what? left 10 more mins to lessons. grrr..

Life's not as smooth sailing like what it used to be. Had been asked what's wrong, what's going on.. but above all, I could not answer it all at. I'm so "stuff-up" now. for going on 1 week.

fine, i'll update again or sth. my lect's here & she's gonna tell us good news! heh.

tired shit. imu. ((:

2007-01-16T00:01:00.000+08:00

// Those were the days..

Was chatting with Monghwa now on MSN, and she so-called "got me back to thinking" on those days during 'O' lvls period, where i woke up at frigging 3am and mug with her @ Macs. like how much i helped her with her very last minute revision & stuffs.. ((:

OMGG. okae, that's so random but still, those were the days. & you won't actually believe that I actually, really miss mugging my ass off in the day & especially the night time. chiong my work and work under stress, though i pretty much hate it cuz of the double/triple stress, or whatever emotions I had that time, but still, the aftermath of it.... wahahahha. okae, that sounds silly.

hais. time flies.

anyway, work today was horrendous. but i guess that though i'm pretty much tired but still, at least i managed to have some fun out of it. heh, and so, I had Carmen, Carol, Solomon, Wan Ning, Boon Keng & Kelvin (raymond's friend) to work with! all the new friends found! lol. anyway, the day was pretty screwed up first b'cuz of my SHOES. carol tried to lend me hers, BUT THE SIZE IS TOO FRIGGING BIG ! LOL. up next was Solo's pants that gave him problems. Thank God that both of us manage to find a way out. He got some safety pins from the others to fix his problem, while i seriously THANK GOD that my dad is at home! & i just recall that i had another small pair of shoes lying at home, called dad and rush outta just to send my shoes to me! HAHAHAHA !! I JUST SIMPLY LOVE DAD SO MUCH MUCH MUCH ! :DD he saved my day. but still, blisters are on their way to look for my feet. so much for standing & walking around the whole day. serving drinks and food, like after so long of not being a waitress, i need time to get used to it. but it is a good reason to train/tone up the muscles!

awww.. alittle self-obsession here, please. my little mouse is hiding up soon! tsk tsk. =P

and i disturb Kelvin saying that i'm actually handsome cuz he's telling me that the other girls there are pretty wearing skirt, saying i'm so boyrish cuz i wore pants and keep talking/laughing/crapping/whatever non-stop, telling him that i've got muscles too.. and stuffs. OMGG, what the hell am I seriously doing. (but seriously, above all is just for fun, peace, laughter & joy!)

~~tell me about it, am i a girl ; or a guy to be. WAHAHHAHA. frigging shit.~~

but b'cuz i've hold on to the tray by my left hand most of the time, now my left hand is feeling so sore please.. hurrhurr. i almost break my hand. we had fun when most of us are hiding at the back/kitchen area, where we pinch on the food! HAHA! some of it la. and had to rush out to the place to slog our lives out. Carol couldn't stop making fun of another guy & girl ; who looks like Edmund & Cindy respectively. we forgot to take pictures after work, hahaa. i guess everybody's too tired to remember it. went off seperately, while BK headed down to bugis with me to look for my parents, trying to bomb my mom's pocket with a good meal but she's not stupid i tell you. LOL, alrights, was just joking. i'm not hungry for any food either. Just that my shoulders are breakinggg!! )):

and so, these few hours spent working got me to earn some money! and and, i thought i could like save up/spend it, not realising that I have to spare it out cuz i needa pay off all the debts. )): RAHHHH. my hard-earn money. after not working for so long, had forgotten that money's really hard-t0-earn mans. hurr..

NO SCHOOL FOR ME TML ! YAYAA! :DD i'm soo gonna sleep in & i'll blow the roof-top of whoever's gonna disturb the shit out of me. hehe, jk of course! (; i'm having thots of going back to school tml.. hmmm. tell me about it mans. HAHA, personal reasons? i don't know. or prolly i should just crashed into my Aunt's place instead. had been pretty busy for the past whole week that i don't have time to go down, and same for the next few days.

haha. i'm thiinking if i should skipped school on wednesday. LOL, tell me about it. my fav's module & facil for this sem. i've never skipped any of his lessons - but if i don't this time round, the next following few weeks have no reasons to skip cuz there'll be tests in the morning. HAHA, i'll see how it goes.

i suddenly want to bball-ing so much. anyone?

light-hearted eh? HAHA, that's so random. and i wished that everyday i'll be like this. ((: Nights, darling world!

working tml~!

2007-01-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

// I'm so lost without you.

alrights, life is fragile. don't know why, but as of lately, things have been happening all together so fast that i just need more than enough time just to accept everything. some stuffs though you may think that it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS to think so much about it, still, you can't help - but to process it through ur mind. those stuffs yet are related to me, have been known as "i'm thinking too much" - like what's new?

AAAHH. sometimes i just really hate to think so much. you know, it takes alot of energy to really THINK ; and to let your imagination go wild. but above all these, the key to it is , "ASSURANCE." one simple word, yet it needs a huge amount of effort to prove it out.

weekends are over! like i've not yet even enjoy it the most. glad that there's no school tml due to OPEN HOUSE, zzz. i don't care much. was suppose to be involve in it but in the end, nah. some stuffs so be it. rest day, but managed to get a job which require us to work tml. was intending to go back to school tml just for some reasons, but i guess i should stay at home instead. prolly?

money money roll in please. it's time to save up and return all my debts.

met up with Steph, jing, sinlok & yikai last night. okae, it has been some time since i last saw the both guys, getting so tall that i feel EVEN SHORTER than before. hurr.. anyway, yeah.. headed to the usual place but the sad thing is, NO DRINKS! )): not like the usual-business there. HAHAHAHA..

HIE MY DEAR JING : YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SOON RIGHT. PLEASE DON'T BLOODY HELL NEGLECT ME ; YOU KNOW I'LL DIE W/O YOU. =x

anyway, i can't believe that this world is so BLOODY SMALL PLEASE. there seem to be so many connections between me & my other friends. and when i learnt about it, things just goes, "OMG. ARE YOU SERIOUS." .. etc. goodness, a buddy in my class, raymond, GOD. he worked in Coffee Club before laaa! and it's almost the period where I was working there too. OH MY TIAN AH. but he left coffee club i guess before i actually work for long or sth.

okae, that's so random. but the thing is, he actually know one of my frend la! aeii, okae. that's about it. hahah, p&c i guess.

bball. IVP's 2nd match @ SP yesterday. headed down, was suppose to meet Princess but last minute saw dad downstairs! HAHA. and so, he picked me up and drive me down to SP! yaya, loves dad! ((: reached SP and saw the guy's match of NUS vs SIM . hahas, there afterwhich, RP vs SMU. that match was way-damn-cool laaa! Oh my tian ah.. RP was like losing 1 point, then the last 30 seconds was the damn EXCITING one to be cuz Juli actually manage to snatch the ball , pass it to huiqi and TATA! she got in! last 7 seconds, Juli got the ball and she delay it, PHEW! everyone was sooo happy! i even felt like tearing pleaseeee! okae, i'm not exeraggrating, but is the feeling! we won by 1 point! see how much they sweat on court, yet i choose to escape from those tough trainings.. really, felt so inferior as compared to the rest. but i have to admit that watching juli on court is damn cool cuz she's so handsome & cool laaa! aww.. the rest (?), yeah. strong & cool too ; that's why i choose to escape - cuz there's no way i can win them, nor to be on par with them, after not training for 3-4 years. skills & stamina have all gone down the drain.

alrights, enough of bball. suddenly i dont feel good. )): someone, tell me that i'm thinking too much again.

aviation

2007-01-13T14:50:00.000+08:00

this is frigging piece of shit.

one of TP's new course: Diploma in Aviation Management & Services.

OHHH GODDD!!

do they allow DAE for new courses? RAAAAHHHH.. why am i so bad luck towards my path of eduacation mans.

paranoid shit.

2007-01-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

Last night was a hell night for me.

got bloody emo and i just burst it out.

there're more things to it, i believe. but what can i do if you choose to keep it within yourself and don't tell me about it.

i thought i can take it, but realise i can't. i'm sorry if i've acted like some paranoid shit to you, but i just don't know what's wrong. and i don't like the way things are like now.

i can't accept this. no way i can.
~~i don't want to follow the footsteps of "so-and-so".~~

or maybe i should say, i'm tired(?) - is this the reason behind it?

Tests are all around the corner, because 4 more weeks is the term holidays. yes, and just by studying during the day time along simply can't help much at all. mugging at the night time has become a necessity now. with the horrifying results i have makes it even harder for me to pontan school. raahhh..

and shit my mp3 seriously, giving me nothing but problems. i can't wait to get a new one pleaseeee. it's irritating me so much.

bball, bball. sighs. i just felt so lost whenever i see the main 5 playing on court. what else but just those rantings.. ahh. this is crap. my mind's so blank now. and i wonder why..

don't let go.

what is wrong?

2007-01-10T14:52:00.000+08:00

// If you ever let go, I'll fall.

):
i'm fine.

always wanted to do some update, but can't find the time to do so. yep, pretty packed & stress during lessons time, and when i'm home, i dont feel like blogging. okae, was kinda busy reading thru my notes for upcoming tests.

my tests are so bloody screwed up, you won't want to know my grades for it.

anw, i've been pretty much of a good girl this sem cuz i never really pon-tan tat much as compared to last sem. dont know why either. so not like me please. =x

str8 to the point, things are yes - screwed up. i don't know why either. I wish I'll know. But what if I know, and i can't do anything to it. how? don't ask me what happen, cuz I don't know how to say it out either, even though I wish i can spell them out.

AAAAHHHHHHH! what's wrong, PLEASE.

okae, i'm contradicting myself ; but how?

-

tennis yesterday with Joey after school was simply splendid. Abby came along, and we kinda played for awhile - den rest, den i had my fun share of hitting the ball against the wall.

something like squash. (:

whack the ball real hard and vent all my angerness, sadness and whatever emotions there. *phew- out the ball it flew and it went outta court, lying on the patch of grass - damn ulu please. okae nvm, but the thing is, is damn "shuang" after venting it out. feel so damn good la. joey asked if i was emo or sth. am i okae & stuffs. HAHA. of course i'm okae la. standing up tall still.

for all the silent unhappiness.

it beats better than going drinking every now and den right? hurts nothing but ur liver. WAHPIANG. say i'm a good girl mans.

okae, tennis more to come. ((: bball? i've got even more to rant on that, but another time.

my back still hurts ; and i've got no idea why. I'll pay the doctor a visit when i'm free. Rather packed with stuffs the whole week, if i've the time - I'll get back all my sleep first la. 24 hrs of sleep for the past 2 weekends had gain back my double-eyelid, and when monday comes, damnit, the triple-eyelid is back again. causing me to feel even tired.

gardens again~ over the weekend with family was cool la! crashed into Ice-cube on sat, lol. yes yes, managed to eat the ice-cream there cuz parents paid for it what! LOL. yes we went there for just ice-cream ; see how mad we can get. I'm sooo gonna crashed in there again when i've the $ to afford it laaa.. hehe. Was at AMK's new NTUC before that anyway. total madness please. everybody just flocked there cuz it's brand new and mega big?! okae, big is big, but is quite cramped & messy somehow la. whatever it is, it's just another supermarket what.

in school still ; home late again. and i'm off to do my work. piling up. and i'm so tired.

i might not be able to hang on for long.

you know it.

say you do.

2007-01-09T00:18:00.000+08:00

hate me now.

hate me for everything now.

cuz i screwed everything up.

every single thing.

tell me what should i do now.

why do i always dwell on the past?

:'(

i'll be lying , if i said it doesnt affects me.

belated X'mas presents! =D

2007-01-06T00:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so bloody tired now that i can just fall asleep anytime ; even at the comp table. but i've got no idea why i still wanna stare into this squarebox here. but i guess i'm gonna go off soon after Joey have send me the song!

zzz. the net's running soooo bloody slow now ; AGAIN.

anyway, school has commerced the 3rd day already. uh yes, not surprising to say that i can't wake up and today's the latest of all. and i still slowly make my way down to school. late of course, saw my new group team members, felt like going off. okae, but i still stay behind. i ought to learn how to work with new people isn't it? but they're just way to quiett laaa. omgg. makes me even wanna fall asleep. prob statement given was a nut to crack, but still manage to understand it cuz there isn't the "regulars"/my this particular clique people in my team. i had to LEARN and UNDERSTAND everything. i hope my efforts could be seen. god, is SCIENCE, you know.

had lunch with carol, bird, choon & another friend. can't stop laughing at all their funnie stuffs. omgg. hhurry back to class and chiong work. like wth la. nvm, princess came to look for me den. chat awhile den went off alrd.

after school, met up with princess and she gave me my belated X'mas pressie! aww.. ((: so sweet of her, manage to catch up abit here & there, but cuz no time for us to really talk everything under the hot sun, she just summarise what she had to say and went off. hahas.. wwaited for Joey to finish her test, den we headed off to Gardens! ((:

ohhh! gardens! love-love! :DD

yes, only the 2 of us. hahahas, we wenta Chomp Chomp makan! Cool. like we always say we wanna makan dere, finally! today. ahhas, ate abit here & there.. den full alrd. wanted to stuff ice-cream into my stomach but it seems that there're no spaces for it.

-.-"
think my stomach has got worms! ://

settle in at Ice-Cube, chill out there. wanted to chill out at Coffee Bean but nahs, it was drizzling already so we just crashed into ice-cube. that's a nice place to chill out honestly, provided you have the money to spare. hehee.. we just lack of camera for us to take photos only, haha. the next time, we said. =DD as usual, talk about the usual stuffs & whats-not. what's meant to be answered left unanswered. i just dont know why..

wanted to supper out with sel they all. but cancelled, cuz i wasn't back home anyway early, plus parents weren't back yet so i dont have the car. rahhh.. not much of supper la. but still, okae. kh's bbday still left uncelebrate ; so is solomon's. i just felt so bad upon thinking of it. anyway,

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, KIANHUI!
-brudder brudder yeah. hahas, thou you may not see this, but still. yes, wishes have been sent over 2 days ago, enjoy ehs!

okae, 20th already. time flies. :/

IVP starts on next week. bird has been telling me if i did go for training i'll sure secure a place in there. but the thing is, whether you get to play anot is another thing. able to sit on the bench is better than nothing. uh wells, i dont know. this matter is still left 'question mark' in me. there're just too many factors to think of. hais. prolly i'll head down to support them or sth. will see how thou. heh.

somewhere just feel unwell in me. so many things left unsaid. and it seems like the more i bottled up, the more i find it hard to let it out. rahhhh. to hell with everything. okae look, this is just the 6th day of the year. more to come, pleaseeee. i dont wanna think so negative at this point of time laa.

i guess i'm just tiredd laa.. hurr. all the shits just crashed in at this point of time.

my belated X'mas pressies! from sweetheart & princess!
sweetheart: thankss so much! i was jumping high and low on the spot when i saw it! lol. dont know whyy.. ahhas. my sister even turn around and scolded me, "SIAO." -.-"

this lollipop and box of cookies slipped off from me when i placed them on my legs.. and there're cracks on it. )): princess's gifts.

it cracked. fragile. bad omen? i just felt sadd laaaa. that i can't stop trying to fix it and keep it in shape while on the way to gardens and joey just keep telling to stop touching it. but i just can't laa. it seems so much more just than a lollipop.

okae, tell me that i can REALLY think ALOT.

i'll edit or blog again. i'm super tired now and the bloody connection's running damn slow. irriting shit. nights world!

and if you wanna know,

i'm telling you now,

that i miss you so.

1st day of school..

2007-01-03T23:24:00.000+08:00

Alrights, so, today's the 1st day of school for all school-goers. i guess everyone would have blog about their very first day in school. be it the good or bad, wells, this is just one another day yah?

Alrights so, the start of the first day wasn't that VERY FANTASTIC afterall. yes, i woke up late (as usual), decided to train down to school instead of bus-ing down cuz I don't have much time to spare today. Imagine first day of school already take train, what's the bus concession for man?

-sounds familiar ain't it? think i've mention the same thing on the first day of school either in Sem one/two heh.

whatever it is, the thing is i don't think i really sleep last night. i was rolling around b'cuz my back hurts like some shit ; and i dont know why. okae nvm, the next thing i know is that my mom's busy screaming away in the big morning just to kick me out of bed. -_-" i didnt even know if i've fallen asleep laaa!

something's so wrong with my body lately. first was about 2 months back, my left arm/hand was feeling so weak that i thot one of my nerves broke. :/ now's my right arm/hand. It's kinda swollen for GOD'S sake. and den, my kneecap has this blue-black that i don't know where have i gotten from, den to my back - backbone(?!) ; few days already.

zzz.

why so many problems.

look, in school. time pass pretty fast, i'm glad that today's module wasn't a stress out one, i'm refering to either maths or science. okae pretty cool. just that,

I've forgotten some of my classmates' name! =X

OHMYGOD.

it was just 1 month of holiday laaaa.. i think i sound bad cuz i was helping to take down orders that my facili's treating ; den i went, "shittt.. i've forgotten what's ur name." in front of one of my classmate. okae okae, i really didn't did it on purpose laaa. i dont mean it too. ):

is like.. we hardly speak to each other la. what u expect. and summore, this class wasn't that strong-bonded as compared to my previous one what.. so, not entirely my fault rightttt !?? =x

aeii, anyway, i just hope that she understand that i dont do it on purpose la. is like, not only hers what.. i just don't know why, i can't recall their names at that point of time.

test was horrifying ; i can't finished. hence, i'm FINISHED.

aeii.. have got alot of others to blog. but i think they're none other than rubbish la. might as well skipped it. okae time for bed now. will chuck rubbish here again another day.

till then!

in love with airport even more! :D

2007-01-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

Had just finished my Channel U's show. yeah, "triumph in the skies". :DD

guess all my frens would have know how mad i can be when talked about tvbee programmes, let alone talking about AEROPLANE & AIRPORT ! heh.

MY LOVES! ((:

okae, very easy to be a happy girl for me. lol, but damn, the show's ending is kinda romantic laaaa. where Sam propose to Zoe in the airportt.. ohh how cool can that be ? damn sweet laaaa. Francis Ng ! WOOTS.

he has a movie coming up! & i'm so gonna catch itt.. lalalalaa..

talking about airport, YES i'm GOING TML! :DD maybe only la. hahaas, mel's dad - which is my uncle - or rather known as "daddy" to us are coming backk. WEEEE.. okae, airport airport!

i haven been there to slack my ass off mans. Linhuijing, if you're reading this, know what to do already rights ?!

next topic on tbee programmes, yesyes, my all-time favourites - HONGKONG DRAMAS are coming up so muchh ahhahas. that i think i should just be a good girl and stay at home on weekdays night. Date me in the afternoon and release me back home by 6pm!

cool right? if not, den just booked me on Weekends laaa! :D

7pm - Shine on you ! 10pm - War & Beauty!

this 2 damn nice shows must watch mans. hurrr. okae, i'm so bored now. :/ think i should go read up my stuffs? i'm so lazyy laaa. i'm just so bored that i just came in here to type rubbish. heh. =x

ps: //haloscan's still below. the word "melancholic" there says it all. why nobody's tagging mans. ):

Happy new year' 07!

2007-01-01T19:21:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year to all !! :DD

-goodbye 2006!

new year with a brand new start ! so everything should start afresh right! heh. anyhows, new start shall start with a new blogskin. lol, uh, and if you guys have noticed, i've already stripped off the password thingy. i guess everyone will be happy uhh. haha, but if there's a need, i might put it back again.

yesterday wenta countdown with Kongwei, Dongjian & Wangjian. haha, yes yes, they're indeed very nice people b'cuz they actually peii me down to Esplanade laaa.. Weee! as well as to meet them up! i'mm a happy happy girl! ((: reached at around 10plus and Marina Square's actually packed with people arld! God, i thot what thingy seh. so, we walked all the way futher down to Promenade that side, and it started raining. :// we hide under Shears' Bridge for awhile before heading out to the stones side & sat there for One-an-half-hour!

-.-" aeii, ass hurts one okae!

first "silent" fireworks set in at 11pm, 2nd one came in at 11.30pm, where i headed out of the crowd to get ice-cream cuz i was feeling damn hot. :// wangjian brought Berrcadi ((((: & a bottle of root beer! Lol, what's up next you all should know laaa..

yesyes! drink, drink, drink! :DD abit only laaa. hehee...

we're gonna sip bercadi like it's your birthday! ((:

Fireworks set in exactly at 12mn, where the people around me are so "high" that they keep screaming! lol, of cuz i joined in the screaming part laaa.. hahaha.. got "atmosphere" okae! fireworks are so pretty pretty! loves*loves. :DD

headed back to bugis area after that, walked till my leg were so sore. :/ bumped into Weihong & the gf.. nothing much. wanted to meet up with princess & egg, but couldn't get them, so i headed home at around 1plus and dropped dead on the bed at 2 plus. BLOODY TIRED PLEASE.

-

Everything shall begins with a smile. ((:

hurr, so, a brand new year, shall just set some.. "resolutions". alright, not exactly resolutions.. just in case i might not be able to get them done. heh, whatever it is, education wise, is definately a must to study even harder as grades haven been a good one for me the last year. So, gotta study harder, and gotta lose some weight! :/ how i wish i can eat to my hearts' content and won't get fat! Projects' stuffs are coming up.. and i'm so gonna get busy, (yes, i'm going to get real busy that i dont have time for other nonsense.)

and then, DAE for NP has opened, i'm still thinking about transferring. heh. =x anyway, they bloody hell have a new course this year which is Dip. in Psychology & .. urghh, why dont they have it last year mans. okae, i'm still talking with my parents about this. so yeah..

now, blogging away at cousin's house. had played tennis & wenta gym. must admit that i'm really losing all my stamina away as compared to during those sec school days, where i still can run around like nobody's business. Was it due to the age that matters or is the fact that i'm getting fatter? :/ didn't swim just now, was already damn tired after those 2 exercise. ahhh, tennis tennis. :DD loves!

okae, gotta go mug my ass off soon. School's starting back on wed, and there's this bloody test thingy, remember? though i've plain forgotten most of it already. and oh ya, one more thing. i needa adjust back my body-clock again. sleeping at 3am and wake at 12pm is so not going to happen from this wednesday onwards. heh, so, more complains will be heard from me like, "i'm very tiredd.." (:

yes, indeed. i'm really very very tired. *yawns. shall blog again, someday. heh. enjoy, everyone!

samsung SCH-V740! )):

2006-12-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY MY NEW EYE CANDY CAN'T BE FOUND IN SINGAPORE?

)):

will somebody import it from KOREA and sell it hereeeeee.

damnit.

"... It's out now in South Korea for around 600,000 won (US$595). It won't be available internationally but Samsung said it's planning similar thin phones for foreign markets this year."

I DONT WANT THE OTHER SIMILAR THIN PHONESSS LA, you this dumbo. can't you just make it available internationally - like in SG ?! bloody stupid shit.

okae, this is the 2nd phone that i'm targetting before it was out in the market, but sadly, i can't get it over here in SG!!!

~~GODDAMNIT.~~

-

gonna cool myself off. it's so stupid. right, where're all my cliques & frens? right;~~left~~, something screwed up somehow now for the plans on eve. i'm just so sadded. i wanna watch fireworks laaaaaaaaaa...

hurrr. i'm so lost of words now. 2006 ending's like in 1 more day? hais. guess it's time to pack myself and get ready for the new year. new resolutions and all the whatsnot, time to move on, when everyone is doing so. time awaits for no man.

heh, now bird's fighting with me for my BF. told'cha he's MINE ALREADY! =x

alright, first few weeks next year's gonna be a hard time for my pockets. i'm so fiancially screwed up this time round, can't even afford to get myself a blloody ZARA top at freaking 20 bucks. and not forgetting still owning people money everywhere. like where the hell can i get all the money laaaa. FCUK, i'm so gonna forced myself to work the next holidays.

guess this is going to be the last entry for the year. tml's crashing into 3rd sis's place for Ashlee's bbday party. not sure if gonna stay overnight, anyways, this year has been on-and-off good & not good for me.

Did this year started off well for me? looking back, had made lots of adjustments just to "fit in & grow up"..

first day at work at SCB in late Dec/ early Jan, learnt to be independent work alone & lunch alone, then to mix around with colleagues & whats not,
den to Feb when 'O's were released. yeah, happy & grew somewhat confident in the area of my education,
to disappoints in mid-March when posting results were released.
2nd round of adjustments had to be made, from working back to schooling, whatsmore in a school & course of not my choice. (i've been whining about this for the past whole year to all my frends).
April came by, met new faces, with new friends.
den came june where i passed my TP! :DD
den, 3rd round of adjustments had to be made in Sept/Oct, where we were being reshuffled around..
den came nov/dec when i got so busy with the kidsREAD graduation and whats not.. all the way till now.

OH MY TIAN AH. how fast time flies man.

emotionally wise is much more on a roller-coaster basis, up and down, all the buckets of tears that i spilt out without knowing why this whole year is enough to wash the car dont know how many thousand times. =/ but of course, have to admit that there were times where i smiled over the slightest thingy.

yeas, life changes. it would be best if it's for the good. like who wouldn't want, right? guess this sentence hits me well by Kel to Yishen, then to me last year. "nobody will pity you when you're down." den followed by, "what doesn't kills me only make me stronger."

reality is always harsh to accept. but no matter what, life still goes on, for the better or for the worst, it lies in our hands. looking back once again, am i really a changed person?

HAHA. can somebody tell me why, perfect love can be found only in dramas?

take care darhlings & all, may the brand new year hits us well! ((:

highlight hair tml ! (:

2006-12-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

i'm dying. )):

tummy's feeling funnie & i had runs for 4 times since i stepped back into the house. i hadn't had any dinner. OHGOD. just what went wrong?

i'm feeling sooo 1000000000000x weak now. and seems like i'm running a slight fever too.

goodness. raining again. =/

going sleep soon. shit mans. school's resuming next week ; and i have not yet enjoy myself laaa.. no shopping for me this holiday b'cuz i'm so broke. and have yet to meet up with so many people. yes, the whole list goes on. what's most important is the bloody test on the FIRST day of school, i haven't even read up yet. like what, you know? it's accounts stuffs.

but somewhat related to marketing & enterprise.. so pretty cool with it. yes, i will study for the sake of the facil~ cuz he's nicee to all of us. dont wanna disappoint myself & him cuz he seemed to have high expectations from me. =/

hais.

Merry X'mas!

2006-12-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

MERRY X'MAS TO ALL ! ((:

may SANTA brings you what you want..

and yes, he did. my HL milk appear in the fridge after a few days of craving for it. uh huh, and the moment i wake up today - wanting to call my mom to get it for me ; till i went ahead to dig for food, open up the fridge.. and DAA TATA! the HL milk's there! ((:

maybe Santa knows I want it. and why can't he give me something more freaking practical ; eg: MONEY! )):

argued with the mom over this kinda issue on X'mas eve. like wtf. seriously. all thanks to my laziness - if i have the money this kinda thingy won't happen. and if i have the money, i'll be able to get the 6GB mp3 player at freaking 150 bucks!!

and guess what. bestie ting got it! )))))):

AHHHH. Like WTF LAH. if i did went to work, for at least 2 freaking weeks - i could simply afford it lahhh. basket shit. oh btw, i need a new mp3 player bcuz my current one is giving me hell lots of problem. this is shit. ~~fcuk piece of shit.~~

anyway, this X'mas is no where special for me this year. so yeah. reasons being:

firstly, no special ones to celebrate it.
secondly, i nv went for any carolling/candle-light services in churches (yes i promise next yr i'll go for it.) it would be best if my caths frens invite me la! experience different culture. heh.
thirdly, i just had it with family, family and still FAMILY.

all my frends have their own parties - at the same time. hence, i can't crash into any of the parties to join them in the fun. heh, dearest frends, next year okae? don't work nor anything.. we shall just have FUN!

X'mas this year just seemed another day round. will i still be able to receive presents next year?

alrights. counting down to a few more days.. which will result in all the 1987 babies hitting the age starting with '2'. don't really look forward to it, seriously.

first on list within us will be kianhui! =x uh huhs. hahas.. soon in no time.. will be my turn. ahhhs.. anyway, met up with Bestie ytd. yeah, she was suppose to join my family with the fun.. but last minute she had sth on, so didn't come. catch up alot.. like, how often do we meet up larh. -.-" waiting to meet up with the rest still ! but den. ahhs, dont wanna plan la. i just hate to plan. and bird actually want me to plan what to do on Solo's bbday. ):

this is shit please. huhhs. i've no idea what i'm doing. just felt like typing.. it's raining again.. why not rain money down mans. hais. ohhh. something random!

((: love-love, dong wook! <3

hahahahhas.. crazily, madly. Jun Ki! :DD that cutie boy.

these guys just have their own originality. oohhh, love-love! :DD

promise me, that i'll be able to find you out in the snow someday.

2006-12-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

happy merry x'mas eve , everyone! ((:

may santa brings us what we want. will he?

this yr's X'mas gonna be so different.. was it b'cuz i'm getting old? :/

this is a special day ; meaningful day.

rahh wad rubbish am i talking about.

just.. MERRY X'MAS'06!

all i want for christmas is.. you.
simple ; but i can't explain why..

2006-12-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

my gum's swollen up for donno what THE SHIT the reason is, and there's nothing I CAN DO.

it started the whole of this morning till NOW. DIP SHIT. i can't EVEN SPEAK properly ; let alone EATING properly.

uh yeah, good excuse for skipping meals eh ? but i'm still as fat as ever.

FAT PIGGGGG. sssshhhessshhh.

i'm always like this. wadever mans..

I want to watch "HAPPY FEET" & "OPEN SEASON" laaaaaaa.. )):

"CHARLOTTE'S WEB" has been a pretty cool showw.. hahas.. can watch it though. went wif dear jing. Mom paid for it ; now you know how broke am I ? there's sooo many things for me to BUY ; but i don't have the MONEYYY. OH GOD. )): everywhere's sale sale sale. but no money money money.

@#*)%@*$_#(_$!)(@($@

sat's candle-light service, anyone? uh wells..

fcuk; save me plwease!!

i'm in painnn. )):

2006-12-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH!!!

:DDDDD

He's my love-love noww~!! ((:

going soo bloody crazy over him , please. OHMYGOD.

can i have him as my bf please?

my happy pill!! :D

i think he's aso not bad la. hahahahaaa ; but maybe can be my gf. LOL. aeii ; he's damn cute okae. *beams-

-siao. :/

anyways, CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWERRRR ; anyonee ?!?! :D

choices..

2006-12-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

name some thingys that you guys want in life.

den choices.

do you get them? do you get what you want?

-

today has been a raining day. heavily ; cats & dogs.
and the rain doesn't stop more than half-an-hour.
which makes me feel so tired & even lazy to get outta house.

yes, i've been staying at home practically the whole of this hols..
doing nothing.
except eating, sleeping, and watching VCDs/DVDs.
watch already think even more.
emo even more..
zzz ;
but i'm sooo glued to the tv noww..
that i'll just get so lazy to even changed out.
alrights, to be honest,
is b'cuz i've no money to spend ;
that's why i rather stay indoor. (;

-

everything seems so weird now..
was it my fault?
am i to blame for my current state?
am i to blame for my own misery..
do YOU even find things weird now?
do YOU?

ying wei ni yao de bu shi wo..

kidsREAD graduation RAWKS! :DDD

2006-12-16T17:49:00.000+08:00

back at this time ; yes - just return from ~~schhoooll~~ kidsREAD, or rather.

the graduation was a success! some tiny little screw ups here & there ; but overall was THUMBS-UP! great job done, everyone!! :DD and now, waiting for Hanah to send me the video clip that she has prepared for us ; didn't really get to see it just now, was just so plain busy please. the kids are so hyper-super-wadever-ACTIVE!

anyhows, love-love! ((:

so now, gonna take a short break from these kids - every sat ; like FINALLY! i can sleep in every Saturday until school re-opens ; den we shall decide if we want to continue in this prog. but oh wells, by then, which means Year 2 already ; more work are coming along & life in this freaking school is not going anyway slackingggg. so please stop saying that my school's sucha good lifeeee.. no exams no nothing. IT STILL JUST SUCKED. :/

still, i'm cool with it laaa. hahaha, accept this fate of mine mans. blardy hell.

i'm back home now ; gonna take a short rest and i'm flying out at night again! hohoho! that's what the hols are for! morever, it's SAT! i'm so not going to stay at home and be like a depressed freak. but still, i'll be home when it's time to sleep. geee..

left with about 2 weeks of hols ; better get my job soon or sth - and start saving up! :DD cooliooo~ and not forgetting, meeting up with all my darlings fRIENDSSSSS. lamies, jas, bestie ting, tankongwei & gang, sweetheart, van(who always think i've died. =P), and whoever who wants to see meee. ((: X'mas coming pple! time to gatherrrr ohh yeah?!

not forgetting solomon's bbday coming! and we're so gonna have a bbday bash for him. the W15E'ians. :DD

it's always right. it feels so much better not mention about the other party. yes, ripped it off. i'm fine - for now. be cool with it. (;

and what would you say if i called on you now
and said that i can't hold on
there's no easy way, it gets harder each day
please love me or i'll be gone,
i'll be gone.

i'm back from BKK ! :D

2006-12-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

// I want you to come back and carry me home
away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you,
are you feeling it too

i'm back, darlings! ((:

missed me, anyone?

thanks if you did..

pretty much of a getaway thou. i'm feeling so much better now. in terms of my life. yes it does helps me alot everytime when i'm down or sth.. relaxed. and now i'm back, hopefully i'll end this year with a smile! and welcome the brand new year with both arms wide open.

forget all the unhappiness, erase & clear everything that's occupying my mind for no reason. yes, memories do stay and i'll keep it with me - so it doesn't matter if the other party doesn't care much.

guess i know how much one means to another through some stuffs. you can tell. i know my frens can't wait for me to stand upright and be happy all alone again, but yeah friends - i need time ya? like i've mentioned before, it wasn't easy.. so yeah.

pretty cool with everything. one lives for its own and not others. i've learn to let things go again (unwillingly thou), and be happy on my own. though sometimes, with the other party around things will be much more better, but yeahh. what's the point of standing on the same spot when the other one is so nonchalent about things and moving on so fast that you can't catch up. i'm tired.

this has to come to an end somehow. yes, i don't bear to end things. i don't ever wanna walk away.. but again, do i have a choice?

-

didn't bought much from this trip. but encounter some bad experiences.. too long to type it out. but yeah, things are still like this. as mentioned, this is much of a getaway for me.. so there. no much $ for me to shop, couldn't get much stuffs. rahhh! didn't take much photos too ; thanks to the wonderful sister - who brought the camera but not the charger. so how could i bring myself to camwhore right?

1 thing that really made my day was able to get a ride on the ferris wheel! :D
that's my lovee! ohhh, love-love! ((:
will post up photos another time.
pretty afraid cuz i'm afraid of heights; but i love it so much that i wanna ride on. cheap cheap 4 SG bucks only! i doubt the one in IR next few years will be so cheap man! rahhh..

fine fine. think i'm going on and on like some grannies. anyway, wasn't feeling quite well ; cuz due to lack of sleep and stuffs.. but then again, haha. i'm fine la.

this weekends gonna be real busy, down with kidsREAD ; yes, the graduation. i hope things will go smoothly and yeah. busy busy. after this, gotta haunt for job soon. i'm so dying broke now. sweetheart asked for dBlo tml night, give it a missed cuz gotta wake early. )): sorry sweet.

feel like changing skin again. oh wells.. ppuuffff~

2006-12-09T07:20:00.000+08:00

i think i'hd screwed up one of the friendships that i have.

bangkok! i'm comingg.. (:

2006-12-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

fly, fly away..

~~perhaps i had expect too much..~~

2006-12-07T01:29:00.000+08:00

decided to chuck a few sentences before i'm off to bed. as usual, i'm tired.

everything in life is still the same, and because of someone new, whom i didn't expect to create an impact in my life, had already make a difference.

long time ago.

i am beginning to realise that i've changed, alot.

to a point where i've no idea why and what's the reason for this change.

and if you guys think i'm a let-down, den all i could say is, "I'm sorry."

i'm still feeling lost ; as usual. but this has nothing to do with anyone. is just me - myself.

sometimes, when things doesn't goes the way you want it to be, it might not necessary be your fault. is just the way how you see things and stuffs.

Auntie cynthia once told me, that God has better plans for me. and he'll paved the right way out for me. perhaps is a belief, that i could absorb in my brains, but sometimes, you'll just wonder, if God really have better plans for each of us here. to the point where he only brought you disappointments instead of giving what you want.

ahhh. nevertheless, my life has been rather joyful, all bcuz of you. you wont see this, but i know you can feel it. thanks for everything all these while.

and now, i just need to let it pass, and to really think of what i want. trust me, it's never easy..

never easy to let go of the person that you wanna hold on.

Vibes'06 ! by STA.

2006-12-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

Where : BarBaaBlackChic 10 Perak Road

When : 6th Dec'06 ; 9pm till late.

Charges : $10 for Presale, $12 before 10pm, $16 after 10pm, LADIES ENTER FREE.

Dresscode : Black, Green, Red, White

MYFCUKINGGOD. You won't believe this. This club is just right at my house doorstep. WAHHAHAHA. like i can freaking walked or even ROLL back home after drinking. WAHAHHAHAHA.

wtf. interested, darlings?

-hais.

Oh God.

2006-12-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

where are you? I've got so so so many questions to ask you.

=/

=(

do you know?

sighs.

a visit to "Church of the nativity of the blessed virgin mary."

2006-12-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

//The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

Thursday afternoon as the module's on Culture.. and the problem statements was asking, "buildings shapes us ; or we shape buildings." We needa take photos of the particular building we've chosen. and so, one of them suggested about "religious buildings" instead of going Esplanade & stuffs ; where almost everyone are heading there. my class only my group went outta school - the "kick" laa. stay in school is so bored. this team doesn't have the members I want in them.. but still, we manage to complete the task given.

We choose to head down to Nativity. (:

way damn cool ; and i'm loving it.

it has the feeling of the "church" i want in mind initially. the aisle, the santuary, the benches by the side.. Hahahaha.. i love the feeling. peaceful, calm. and it seems like u can just speak ur hearts out without any worries.

isn't it pretty?

AHh. just wanna step into church, seated through`out the mass. is just the feeling.. well, not everyone understands la. but still,

i can't commit. so be it.

He lives in my life.

-

some holy right, you must be thinking. LOL. wondering if i'm mad or what.

HAHA ; perhaps is due to Christmas around the corner. haha, christmas.. christmas.. singing carols.. PRESENTS! =x

and so, i'm gonna have a getaway soon. life has been hectic. and prolly the time to think of what i really want and how i wanna handle those stuffs that has been going on in my life.. though i still don't really know how should i deal with it.

-

skipped school on Friday; wenta dental in the afternoon. damn uncomfortable - again.

the spring on my teeth was like being forced to fit in or sth. blooddyy hell.. was literally screaming inside me.

anyway, crashed into my aunt's place for awhile.. den off to meet my dear - jing @ Compass Point. since it's so near. den we decided to go down to Ikea for a walk.

haha, really "walk" man. the place's damn big ; and of course, with damn lots of people. everyone just flocked there for no reason. HAHAHAHa.. maybe is just me & jing la. but anw, we enjoyed ourselves thou. got the mini "red-colour heart" toy kinda. hahaha.. found out that i should actually bring my dad along cuz it's time to change my BED and CUPBOARD. -.-" before we left they gave us this blue colour sling bag kinda. lol ; damn cute & funnie please. I sling it on and told jing that i wanna bring it to school.

with the word, "Ikea" on it. LOL.

nothing much thou. headed to Tamp for dinner ; den bumped onto sis & yf. dinner den wenta home le.

"snakesssss.." teehehehee..

Saturday:

Back for kidsREAD in the morning, down for meeting till 1plus. had alot of changes going on for the graduation thingy.. hurrr.. i hope everything will turns out fine man. headed off to meet Carmen & Carol ! like, mygod. it has been so long since we last met up can?! cam whore as usual with super random pics. waiting for Carol to send! ahhh..

OH GOD. hols are freaking coming! which means i can sleep in everyday!! WOOHOOS. not forgetting my getaway & to haunt for jobs soon. uhhh, i'm really so lazy to work plweaseee. why can't money just dropped from the sky? decemeber now, which means.. year's coming to an end. uh wells, what i'm looking forward to is CHRISTMAS ! :D

& i wonder how will i spent my Christmas this year... hmmmzx..

):

2006-11-29T15:59:00.000+08:00

//The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger,
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer.

i'm sad.

=(

don't know why..

lost of words..

sighs.

Bryan's back! ((:

2006-11-28T20:48:00.000+08:00

//sing with me,
lalalalalala.
and try to smilee.

AHH! 28thh!! Bryan's returningggg.. WOOHOOSS.. all i'm anticipating's the pressieeeee... =X *evil grins-
(sekali he never buy me anything den i'll laugh until i die!)
but anyway, more to catch up now he's back. heh, guess alot of things have been happeningg.. hmms. but oh wells, he's goonna be a damn busy guy up next. shall see how den.

-

wanted to blog the past few days ; but no time. school has been pretty packed during lesson time. with the suckiest grades that i'm seeing everyday, i wonder where has all the hard work gone to. & if you want to know how i'm doing, i can gladly tell the world that my grades are now "C+ / D ". WOOHOOS.. say i'm the cleverest person man. don't ask me why. i've no idea why my grades are like this. is not that i don't know how to do the test.. but sometimes, all you need is L-U-C-K ; which i must admit that i'm lack of it. ):

-

Friday;
headed to his class to eat cake. haha, cuz joey & frens bought for him.. uh huh, was suppose to surprise birdd after school ; but she has got plans !! anyway, was postpone to monday instead. (will talk about it laters) And so, me & WAN NINGGG!! (sexiest) headed down to Expo for Adidas Warehouse Sales. I swear I was stomping my ass off when i reached the entrance when the person-in-charge told us to go away b'cuz it was closed. BLOODYY HELL, i travelled all the way from another end of SG to the other side, reached the fcuking place and u told me u're closed for the day!? HAHAHHA. was acting angry only laaa. i knew they were closing @ 7pm. but anyway, it just sucked to end ur sales so freaking early on a friday night laaaa.. madness. den we walked over to popular fairr.. nothing much. wenta in walk one round, den left. tried to look for bingkun but he wasn't around. HAHAAA. den we left for AIRPORTTT !! <3

:D

and of course, we started cam-whoring on our way thereee. Wooohooss. some photos to shareee..

guess who?

aeroplaneeeeee.. =/ i want a getaway too!

left airport @ around 8plus 9pm.. i only remembered i talked alot that night. really really chatterbox for the night. talk about whatever under the sexy moon..
-

Saturday;
kidsREAD as usual. after that wenta Aunt house. 2nd sis was there with the kids. was freaking tired please.. the kids made me read storybooks to them, read halfway, throat pain. -.-" and guess what.

i fall asleep..

on the sofa. =X

woke up suddenly, recall that i'm suppose to meet SEXIESTT to go for the Adidas Sales again. yeah, drag my ass to Expo again, and this time round. yeah. got my ass in - spent 50 bucks. WTFFFF. i'm so broke now. seriously broke. RAAHHhh! nothing much aso laaa. quite alot of people.. headed to EastPoint after that. wanted to shop for bird's pressie ; but no avail. bumped onto Chang Yi (think so?) & MiaoLi. den headed for dinner ; after that, she went home while i wenta slack with van & joc @ Starbucks.

Sunday;
slept in.. mom freaking woke me up at 12plus. bloody hell~ was so damn tired. wenta to look for himm.. ahhhh. whatever, dont feel like talking abt it. hurr, just know that i'm freaking tired.

monday;
Maths test. bloody fcuk. i can do the test ; but can't finish the test. Everyone in the class were ranting our ass away. OH WELLS, here comes another "C" grade or whatsnot. :// damn demoralising. after school, crashed down to CityLink's New York New York to celebrate Bird's bbday. hehehhehee.. took some photos but more to come. alot are in her camera.. so yeah. waiting for her to send.

New york's 1 dish - NEVER EAT IT.
"FISH & CHIPS."
you'll regret if you order that.

okae, sounds bad ; but yeah. Cheryl, Bird & man qing ordered that. they were literally eating bread rather than fish & chips. what's cool is that they have FREE candy floss! LOL. surprise bird with a cake while some of their staffs sang bbday song for her. okae, this part was seriously screwed up. but anyway, we surprise her tat she's just so happie laaaa. HAHAHHA..

her pressies were:
-ang bao from us,
-pebble from ME! :D

she was laughing madly when she saw the pebble. lOl ; i drew for her okae. she wanted it what. HAHAHHA.. forgot the convo already, but it was damn maddness. i had to "rob" the marker off from class aso laaa!

awws.. loveeee herrr mans. LOL, and she had to remind me that i'm gonna have 20 candles on my cake next year. iddiiot, she's gonna get me back man.. heheeee. <3

best friends still! W15E'ians. :D

the couple fighting. LOL.

& look at the "special" shoes the couples have.

darling! happy berthday! <3

Happy birthday, chanel & alexia!

2006-11-24T00:19:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRD & 'LEX !

May all things goes smoothly for you guys. Best of lucks!

With love,

(:

flip ; flop ; flopped. =/

2006-11-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

some update, gonna zzz. damn tired. slpt late last night. going school tml?
hurhurr. no ideaaa. will see how den.

-

course transfer application has failed.
gotta remain my ass in this current course.
was complaining to him & bryan online in the morning.
and he said to me some stuffs that made me think alot.
i mean, is not that i don't know it..
but sometimes, you just need someone to "nag" at you over it.

"Life doesn't goes the way you want it to be ;
you don't usually get the things you want."

-.-"

bryan asked me to make use of it.. study hard.
get into Uni den change course.
he's returning back soon. said we'll update more when he's back.
(both of us have been busy with work lately..)
hurhur. how boring can i be.
transferring school next year?
no idea. too many factors to consider.
i know it's myself ;
i just can't accept this fact that i end up somewhere that is not of my choice.
i just can't pull it through within me - myself.
how would you want me to accept the fact that I actually tired so hard, yet not able to get the things i want in life?
talk about luck, yeah. prolly ladee luck wasn't with me.
like always.
took everything away from me ;
left me alone to survive.
the thot of school just turned me off.
module selection next week.
i just feel like giving it upp noww..
why am i forcing myself to do things that i don't like?
OH LORD.

-

Duckie asked me in the afternoon if i wanna crash into bird's house tonight.
ton over, give her surprise.
but didn't go. was too late to inform my parents about it.
shall celebrate it with her together with W15E'ians (the few best friends left now).
wells, it's the thots that counts right?
Though i very much wanna crashed into bird's house & have fun with them..
but then again..

& he was telling me that his friends crashed into his house now to give him surprise.
hurhurrr. birthday seems so fun to them.
perhaps they'hd received pressies & whatever from their families and stuffs?
that made me feel so envious.
but somehow or rather,
birthday to me now just seem like a normal day round.
i don't wish to turn twenty so fast. ):

-

wenta dinner with him just now.
to "celebrate" his bbday since he won't be avaliable for the next few days.
aahahhas..
things flip, flop, flopped. =/
i'm just sucha bad planner.
damn bad.
met sweetheart after that,
waiting for Mr. Box to knock off.
He sure has a sense of humorr!!
*lovesloves* :D
*AHEM.-
better be nice to my sweetheart heh.
if not i'll tear down ur rooftop! =P
Sweetheartttt,
take care of urself yeah! bon voyage!! *missmiss* ((:

-

ahh. ii ran out of what to blogg.
just don't really feel good inside mee..
it's still affecting me till today.
or was it that i'm tired?
ahhs..

Momo! coolio~

2006-11-20T21:05:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Happy

You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier.
Focus on what's right in the world, and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible.

How Happy Are You?

Goodness. what's wrong with me. 40%. am i still a living human not?

-

anyway, chop chop entry. little time to spare with so much things to do.
down with kidsREAD's stuffs, bbday preparations(?), tests coming up.. (etc).
so much things to do, yet so little time. Oh LORD.
i haven even been sleeping well these 2 days. -.-"
let's see how my weekends are like.

couldn't remember what happen on friday. think i was emo-ing away for dunno what fcuk. anyway sat was a tiring day.
Woke up in the morning, as usual, headed back to school for kidsREAD.
uh huh, was late. (nothing surprising)
den to realise that there are only 5 kids for the first session! WTH. where are the rest? O_o"
couldn't do much. they sat around and watch "The Incredibles."
we joined in as well.
2nd group was much better. natasha & aloysius gave me a big hug and was holding onto me so tight. wahhahaha, okae. honestly, i felt loved.
LOL, sounds silly but yeah.
don't under-estimate the amount of strength they have.
crashed into 3rd sis's house after that. lol reached at about 2 plus or so.
the little brats are there already. HAHA! so happy to see them around laaa..
slacked around & stuffs.
and about 5 plus, drove out to pick my sis & bro up.
Best part was, 3rd sis wasn't around! HAHAHAHA! i'm so happy please.

i mean, yeah, she allowed la. of course.. they were asking me if i dare to drive the car out cuz it's those family 7 seater kinda. & i never drove before.. (like my family don't drive sucha big car, duh).. but still, they trust me *ahem*. MY mom should grant me access now man, blooody hell. zzz.. anyway, yeah, drove 2nd sis back home to get her stuffs.. den to compass point to pick sis & bro up since they went to buy cake there. =D i'm so happyyy can. HAHA, bro leaked out that sis's bf was around just now. and 2nd sis asked him to join us in the dinner. WAHAHHAA, made a detour back to hougang to pick him up. He's blushing away laaaa. lol, so funnie. and i asked him to better appreciate that i make rounds just to pick him up cuz i don't get to drive people around. HAHA! zzz. everyone was disturbing him especially the kids when they saw him la. hahas, duhhh. why sound like i'm talking about my bf.
LOL.
don't care la. anyway, i left 3rd sis house at about 8plus 9pm. dad drove me out to MRT station and headed down to Clarke Quay to meet the rest.. sia lar. i almost backed out last minute. I was so freaking tired and i swear my eyes are closing. -.-"
wasn't really being myself that night.
whatever.
drank alittle, danced alittle, scream ALOT, laughing abit; not forgetting cam-whoring.
wth.
madness.
cabbed home at around 1am, couldn't stay longer. i just got screwed last week, remember? and i don't have the energy to stay either.
K.O right after i reach home.
fcuking tired. and i smell damn @*)(*#%*(#)%.
zzz.

sunday; kidsread - read & ride on the train. guess what?
yes, i overslpt. expected.
no choice, rushed down straight to Jurong East to meet up with the rest. Where on earth do i have the time to go back to woodlands to meet them when they assemble at 8am, while i woke at 7.30am?
worst is Natasha & aloysius didn't go.
-_-"
brought "headache" along with me. nothing surprising.
this always happens whenever i don't have enough sleep what.
hurhurr.
berlinda & I were cam-whoring on the way to Expo, using our phones.
it was pretty boring. and we went out for a walk..
hell lots of people. like doh!
sunday!
church services at the other end. haha, how much i missed church.
*ahem, but anyway,
went off at around 1pm.

rushed back to bugis while parents picked me up,
wenta in malaysia.
packed with programes. HAHA. sounds cool but i swear i'm so bloody tired please.
headed in, wenta shopping. wanted to buy a pair of heels. but didn't.
@(#)%(#*(@!&%*
the trouble of not having money along with you.
zzz.
anyway, wenta in for dinenr cuz cousin's treat or sth.
at some seafood village.
WOOTS. opposite the sea is Sembawang.
HAHA. damn cool la please.
only if there's a bridge, drive-thru or sth.
we dun need to make rounds & rounds.
and it was so sway, that dad keep going on the wrong way. duhhh.
anyways, K.O on the car back. jammed, and i was too tired to stay awake.
mom picked me & bro up at Mel's house (cuz yima went in as well.)
Reached home online less than 15 mins and i went to bed.

Wanted to skip school today.. but no idea why i drag myself outta house.
was late anyway. purposely. (:
at least i bother to wake up, get dress and travel all the way down.
reached school around 9am plus.
not exactly a good day to start this week.
don't wish to go in details.
whatever it is,
i'm tired.
and hungryy. shit, i needa control my meals this week.
i've been eating the whole of yesterday.
urghh.
mood spoiler.
fcuk everything.
tveeee timeee. & i'm off.

sweetheart: you know what i want from you right? awws. and don't get so angst over the whatever girlfriend la heh. you've got *ahem* ME. :DD

read-and-ride on train..

berlinda & me..

berlinda, me & cassandra! ((:

step up! :D

2006-11-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

gonna make this entry a fast one. i'm so bloodyy tired (as usual) and my triple eyelids are making me so uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable = Moodiness.

-

Anyway, i had a fall again. on monday.
-.-"
No, my jeans did not tear this time round.
So, no "joke of the day" for u guys to laugh at me.
HAHA.
but i swear, is damn malu..
somemore in front of the person who means so much to you.
urgghh.
i feel like slaughtering the bus driver alive man, seriously.
Not going into details,
but yeah.
i had a fall ; & that's it.
Got blue-blacks on my arm & leg.
Hurrhurrr..

thanks to the friends; at least i know that they cared.
and with you around,
the pain just subsides itself.

caught the movie, "Step Up" @ The Cathay. thumbs up~ i rate this show. HAHA.
like tell me how long i haven been watching movies?
the lead guy ; looks like cutie handsome Chad Michael Murray.
Goodness.
i wish i'm his girlfriend man.
anyway with regards to the show,
their dance are fab, fab, fabalous!
omggg. *drools-
go watch it & you'll know what i mean.
more movies, anyone?
But not for the time being.
hehehe, i'm pretty B-R-O-K-E now.

momo this sat..
yeahs, my very FIRST time.
*ahem.
no idea how i'll enjoy it, but definately wont be staying till late.
cuz the next day,
WHICH IS A SUNDAY,
i've to wakie at about 6am ?
HELLO. ?
haf to reach back school @ 8am !
down with kidsREAD thingy, and they're having this MRT prog thingy..
our duty is to look after those naughtie darlings..
hurhur.
I haven been waking up anywhere early on Sundays ever since I never go Church.
i dont even wake so early for breakfast please.
and plus, i don't even travel that far for Church.
so to summarise, i'll be going to school for freaking 7 days - THIS WHOLE WEEK.
)):
what a shit.
sighs.
and now? my mom just told me that aunt's bbday celebration gonna be on this sat!
WTH.
& now, i'm stuck in this situation. MOMO / aunt's dinner?
obviously aunt's dinner is more important, DUH.
but wells,
will see how den.

mood's on the swing now. don't know why either.
hais.
school's getting boring day-by-day.
i'm so dread of going to school.
have been waking late for the whole entire week!
took trains more frequent than bus!
-.-"

rahhhhhh!!
i want to sleep. i really want to sleep. hurhurrr. why am i always so tiredd.. ):

2006-11-13T15:43:00.000+08:00

fcuked the headache that i'm having now.
from morning i woke all the way till now.
& now,
my tummy's giving me problems
and dunno for wad fcuk's sake.
WAHLAO
i swear i feel like dying now.
urrrggghhhh.
head pain pain..
i'm suppose to go to aunt's house.
will see how den.
Net's gonna be dc-ed soon..
rahhh.. like almost every other day.
Lessons' still on nowww..
RAHHHHH.
saveeee meeeee..
=(

life is fcuked up.

2006-11-12T15:45:00.000+08:00

so. i declare that this entry is full of angst & disappointment as i'm typing.
reason?
Try being screwed by ur parents str8 2 days.
Mom screwed me up last night when i'm back ;
dad's turn in the fcuking afternoon when i woke.
WTF.
i'm nineteenth already.
not ninth.
I'm chilling out with my friends;
not smoking nor taking drugs nor clubbing my ass off.
WHAT THE FCUK IS THE FCUKING PROBLEM OF STAYING OUT LATE - ONCE IN AWHILE.
yes, concern me i know. care for me i know.
but the thingy is,
is there so much for you to fcuking nagged at me?
Is not like i do this on EVERY weekends.
WTF is wrong with you.
why don't you understand me that i need my friends more than staying at home every weekends?
WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU'RE MY PARENTS.
NOT ANY ONE ELSE.
I've never rebel or go against you.
I've learnt to study hard and play hard,
balance my fucking life.
WHAT'S WRONG MAN.

Parents, you called it.
Disappointed's the word to describe.
Even you don't understand me well,
who else can i expect to understand me.

FUCKED UP LIFE I'M LEADING.

-

met up with jing last night. after so many months. went vivo to walk around, as well as to update on our personal life. bumped onto cousin & the gf. nothing much thou. took photos around, but she says is not enough. Ha, joc happened to be there as well, den the trios just wander around. short of char, lamies' not complete man! char: meet up soon, if u're reading still.

argued with the mom last night. decided not to go home anywhere early. so we bused down to town, went to cine and crashed in at the Hongkong cafe. please please. i shld haf believe in everybody who've stepped in there before, but thinking that everyone's taste might be different, hence we went ahead and try. It's in a P-Ban (remember Mirc?) case. i swear i'll never step in there anymore. i only had their bread & milk tea. simply simply, not my taste. after which, we walked all the way down to Esplanade. aimlessly walking. settle down there and we just chat. left at around 245am or sth, when i got screwed by the mom.

see how life for me?
KNN.

thurs trg was a killer for me. after not exercising for so long, body's still aching now. stamina trg, coach was rather in a good mood i supposed. but still.. friday was worst. met up with sweetheart, joc & bk. swear that my body's gonna break into pieces.

yar, whatever the fuck is. i've got no mood to blog now. -cas' out.

2006-11-06T18:24:00.000+08:00

// if i wish upon a star,
someday i'll be where you are.

6th Nov: Happy Birthday, Zhenxing! ((:
not sure if you'll see this - but still, all the best to you ya! i've never forgotten about ur bbday before laaa.

Years back, today would meant a special day always. but now, it is non other than a normal day around. hurhur.. how time flies mans.

-

skipped school today.
woke at 8 plus coz mom can't stop asking me qns.
fall back to sleep.
woke at about 11plus,
onlined and send bird ppt.
went back to bed ;
woke at 12pm.
LOL.
i know i sounded like a pig,
but i'm very very tired.
-_-"
dental appt at 1.45pm.
dentist asked me to consider putting braces on the lower set of teeth too.
hurhur..
wad should i do.
it isn't very crooked nor very str8.
But still,
the pain & the moneyy $$$ plays a part okae.
it's not as if i'm some rich man's daughter.
sighs.
Back home after that.
as expected,
the pain sets in.
)):
i'm soooo bloodyy hungrryy.
but it hurts till i dont even feel like opening my mouth to talk.
hurhurrr..

school's tml. oh wells. i don't look any forward too, seriously.
://

Sweetheart: can i have those photos all taken at the KTV session? hurrrr..

and yes, where are all my long-lost friends? those whom i haven met up for MONTHS. is time to meet up and have a talk about everything under the hot sun! i'm missing you guys man! whoever's reading this now~!

oh yar, from tml onwards, weekdays. i've made a pact that i've to be home by 10pm. so any dates or anything, please "release" me by 9pm so that i can rush home to watch my tvbee on time! hahaaa, hongkong dramas just rawks my toes laaaa.. thou the show looks familiar somehow, maybe i've watch it before too but i don't care laaa. =x pact with the mom, who thinks that i'll break this pact. -.-"

-

dilemma.
you left me so many questions.
you asked me not to think about your past.
but deep inside me,
i know that she can never be replaced.
should i just walk away
and pretend that nothing has happen before?
can i do so?
will you even realise so,
if someday i were to move an inch away from you?
i know i'll fall apart,
if you were to leave my world.
but the thing is,
i know it very well that this will get on to no where.
by asking me not to take things seriously,
what do you mean by that?
whenever i heard you're feeling unwell,
i don't feel good.
worried in fact,
bcuz you just wont listen and be good.
yet after all these little things that i've done for you,
do you see it?
that you meant more than a friend to me?
am i living in my own illusion all these while?
if yes,
how long more..
do you want to led me on, & give me false hope?

~~no matter what,~~
one thing for sure.
you mean the world to me.

our memories.

2006-11-04T17:14:00.000+08:00

// If time could stop at that very moment,
you've no idea how much
I want to be in your arms.

I slept at 2.20am last night, woke at 3.45pm today. I skipped kidsREAD today ; and had fly EnNing & Raymond on SQ. i'm so very sorry.. i just couldn't wake up on time.

Woke at 9.35am, den thot of what happen last night. fall back to sleep. woke at 10plus cuz of a "nightmare". fall back to sleep. on and off - like this. till i really got back to sleep. Msgs keep coming in and sorry, i took a long time to reply.

Wenta Hougang Mall ytd with Joey for dinner. Reason, who goes home early on fridays? i almost ended up with my mom for mahjong, but i bumped onto Joey on bus ; hence, the 2 "loners" bused to Hougang mall for makan. We ate ALOT. and i mean ALOT. couldn't finished the food of course, didn't stay out to late either. had to comfort myself to reach home at 9pm since it's the last episode. heh. how "comforting" please. joey and i talked alot. HAHA, and i began to know alot more things.. and everything she'hd told me ; got me into deep thinking.

now, i'm lost again.

It could be that i'm thinking confidently so much that i didn't care much. but after what i've heard from joey, things seems upside down. and i've no idea who should i believe.

my gut feelings? or her words?

it seems like my gut feelings swayed by her words too. how? tell me how?

i really don't know how..

& what does it mean by : "don't take it too seriously" ?
please tell me if any of you know what it means.

so many questions left unanswered,
yet, i do not have the courage to ask you all.
reason?
i'm not prepared for the worst answers you'll give.
for i know that
ignorance is bliss.

i'm affected ;
again,
yes i am.

23 more days! *beams-..

2006-11-01T15:39:00.000+08:00

// To tell you the truth,
I can't find my way.
And deep inside me,
I feel like i'm dying.

Lesson ended.
horrayyyyy.
like hello,
it's Wednesday. (:

Didn't do any work at all today.
i'm sorry for not "contributing".
I'm so lost at this lesson.
accountings?
hurhur.
kill me please.
last week's was okae,
today was slightly more in depth.
& more to come.

he's sicked.
on & off.
bought him lozenges.
what else can i do?
hurry get well soon..

i'm sick too.
head's spinning like fcuk.
urgghhh.
i'll get easily irritated
whenever i'm not feeling well.
so, fcuk it.

i'm off from here.
suddenly lost of words.
rraaahhh..
will update when i'm feeling better.
*-pouts-

angst kid. depression? :/

2006-10-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

everyone has been complaining about blogger - lately.
so why not join in as well?
fcuk it, i've blogged out EVERYTHING that's going on happily on sat ;
but it can't be published.

i've no mood to re-type it out now.
will do it again + some photos uploaded - when my sweet<3>
anyway,
sweetheart has got it done on her blog.
sweet, sweet sweet is the only word to describe.
you don't know how I laugh at my screen in class when i open ur page,
and saw the "bomberman" picture.
you wouldn't know how much i heart you too.
haha..

had been an angst kid today.
don't ask me why.
bird, egg got bball match.
start of ISIBL i think.
i'm not selected.
nahs, can't be bothered anymore.
was just thinking if i should continue to go trainings & stuffs.

angst kid i am.
got the urge of killing everyone.
)):
don't ask me why.
i've no idea.
tell me what's wrong with me if you know.
if you think i need a doctor,
please tell me so.
i've been like this -
on & off ; like a switch.
for more than 1 year plus.

sighs.

i need to cry.
cry out loud.
no idea why.
nothing's wrong..

-

changing of courses are open now.
i'm thinking & wondering..
results had been a disappointment,
and all i can do is to try to change.
1st Nov is the last day.
i can't wait to change the damn course.
can't believe I studied so hard
and end up getting to a place & course which i have no interest at all.
the best is get out of this bloody school.
Thanks Bryan for advicing.
haha. coming back soon !
can't wait to hear all the wonderful stories from you!

Year's coming to an end..
It's another year..
how fast time flies..

-

take that mask off me,
hold on to me & guide me out.
whoever you are.
save me;
before I die.

KTV ! :D

2006-10-29T02:01:00.000+08:00

Slept late last night :D , wake early today (to me) about 12 plus.. hurrr. went to cut my hair and headed down to Parkway to meet my sweetheart, Bk & Nick! off to Kbox and spent our evening there..

I look so horrible now. look even fatter. hurrr. this is shit man. I thot it was okay for the start, den to realise that i look "rounder". -.-" *screaammmss.. Oh wells, up next is to save up! and i'm going to highlight my hair, again.

had lots of laughter during the KTV session. also took alot of photos.. now waiting for my sweetheart to send them to me! heh. kh & sel called and ask where am i and stuffs. didn't realise that they were hanging around PP aso, headed downstairs to catch up with them.. choose to meet them another time instead. So after K, we went over to Starbucks, sat there & chatted for awhile.. left at around 11.. heh. realise that we've grown up alott.. from studies, to bikes, cars.. etc. it all depends on the age we're in. heh, old already right. aren't we? =P

HAHA. how silly. we planned to go MOMO on the 18th. lol, uh wells.. we'll see how den. =/

will be going to malaysia tml! my new-born newphew's first month celebration! (((: babyyyyy!!

had been thinking of some stuffs recently. and i need to find the "right mood" to talk it out. any ears around? hais.. and i'm really thinking about it.. i'm lost.

sighs.

bored..

2006-10-25T12:41:00.000+08:00

// Assure me that,
I don't wanna feel lousy.

Maths test firstly, is pretty much screwed up. Perhaps normal la heh? i didn't manage to complete the paper, so all the qns done are like halfway kinda. heh. i expected it. uh wells.. maths just sucked. but still.. i do love maths sometimessss... jjust sometimes. yeah, contradicting i knoww.. hurhur. complained the shit outta it, as usual.. haha. and he ends off with, nvm it's over. Hur. cool ya? -.-"

anyways, i'm getting better somehow. just that headaches are on somehow. hurr. & i'm blogging here away cuz i'm like soooo FREE?! cuz im done with my work. hehe..

was talking to Van just now. OMGGG. okae, inside stuffs. But then, we're all soooo going "gagaga" over the "SHANE LOOKALIKE" person. SHIT MAN! LOL. how i wished..... (to be continued) van will/should know what i'm trying to say right! HA! SHit man! calm me down, someone.

AHHAHAHAHHA. SSSSHHHHAAAANNNEEEE. =x

Van, hope u're feeling better heh. donno how to say.. i'm not very good at words either.. so yeah. just ring me up or sth la. ~~i want shaneeeeeee!~~ =P

Shit man. 1 hr plus more. WOOHOOS. i guess i'm loving today. lesson's fun fun fun! about accountings; though i hate it very MUCH MUCH, but it's still fun. i'm damn colllddddd. *Burrrr. anyhows, i'm off from here! gotta go watch my shows. I've just "steal" some from En Ning's. HAHA! from hongyuan's ; to be exact. Coollioo~ :D so many shows to watch. HAHAHHA, must clear already. if not my C:// really gonna .... hurr.

BYE!

sick le. hurhur..

2006-10-24T01:29:00.000+08:00

//The slightest concern that you'll give,
will result in the widest smile
that I ever had.

*shurgs. i'm sick. hello worldddd. Fever sets in during lesson time and I almost died in class feeling so lethargic. again, 2 men show today after Raymond "zhabo" halfway. I wanted to skip school today - like very early in the freaking morning. ask huijing dear~ she knows. HAHAHHA. but decided to drag myself to school. anyhows, i was late. Ha, but it beats better than never go.

As mentioned in the previous entry, bball trg resumes back today. I kinda forced myself to go trg.. initially wanted to sit by the side and see them train, given that i'm not feeling well.. heh. but just decided to pull myself for a run or sth. 10 rounds around the bball court. -freak out- but still hanging on. Using one small corner of the indoor court as the Volleyballers were using the court plus it's raining cats & dogs outside.. the rest of the trg wasn't that bad for a brand new start. i wanted to back-out as there were some negative thots in my mind.. but still, hang it on there.

hurhur. was feeling much better after some runabouts. shooting balls & etc.. heh. slacked around awhile after trg, den headed to CWP for dinner. Back den, the fever sets in again.. )): joey came to meet me, bird & egg after she dined with her friends.. we slacked outside Civic Centre and chatted. But whatever they wanna asked, seem to have a question back to shoot at me. heh. regarding us. (: heh. but then again.. nothing much laa.. didn't wanna say much also. left CWP at 11 or so..

Chiong back home ; needa do hw/RJ. was late for submission. heh. like, who the hell ask the facil to closed the bloody submission @ 1159; knowing that tml's public hols. iiddiot. anyways, dont care. At least i still bother to submit my work.

shit man. i forgot what i wanna blog about le. there's test on Wed ; & it's freaking-bloody-hell ; M A T H S. wish me luck man, seriously.

btw, Jay - my hubby ya?- NEW SONG'S MV damn damn damn NICEEE!! ting ma ma de hua!! check it out @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHMucSJsOac . coooolioooo~~ the best if i can get the piano scores of it man! WOOHOOS, sweetheart, any help in this area? hahahaha.. uh wells.. :D i'm still in the midst of checking out the rest..

okae, i needa sleep now. eyes are half-closed. nose's on the run. shit man. toodlesss.. :D

so much to updateeee!

2006-10-21T13:53:00.000+08:00

Ahh. feels so good to be able to type it out here now. Had been a busy for the past week. reach home late, feeling tired = no time to blog. in school, busy with work such that even during lunch breaks, if i have the time, i'll just take the time to sleep. =/

I'm really really very tired can ?

So now, just back here to update on every single thing in my life - that's going on for the whole of this week. yeas, pretty busy as mentioned, and this entry's gonna be a long one. ((:

Sunday (15/10/06) :

Headed to sentosa with the bballers. mostly guys. plus me, hazel, bird & egg. Initially wasn't really on the mood to go.. you guys know how ~~"black"~~ tan i am now. I don't need the sun for a period i guess. but then again, went along since bird asked me to ; plus it's sebast's bbday. so went to have fun with them. met bird & hazel @ Harbourfront at around 10.30am. (like, VERY EARLY CAN!?!? =/ *grumbles- i want my sleep laaaa!) but guess what, the rest of them were even earlier than us. they reach there around 9 plus or so? madness. =X slack around sentosa, had lots of funn.. photos will do the talking later! So, we left Sentosa at about 4plus, headed down to Marina Bay for steamboat. heh, last minute planning can? haiiis. so ate there, after that went for pool session. Wanted to go home right after dinner, bcuz me & bird were really really very tired le. but still, went ahead. Kept laughing among ourselves bcuz our pool skills.. erms.. HAHA! Like wahlao, who cares la. i don't even play pool can. create a whole chunks of laughter. left marina bay at about 10pm.. think i reach home online awhile, den K.O str8 le. hurhur.. guess it's worth it? cuz we kinda get closer to each other.

Monday (16/10/06):

headed to school.. can't really remember what happen.. guess nothing much. just that if i'm not wrong, I slept in class during lunch time. did i ? not sure. but yeah. got trg, but nv go. =x cuz is for those who're playing for the match. guys got match @ 8.30pm, didn't stayed to watch.. OH YA. i went to my aunt's house. the haze was so terrible that one look out of the house, it looks kinda scary. people staying at Yiochukang/hougang area will know eh. hahahha.. but anyway.. yeah. went to look for Jeanne @ Marina Sq after that to get some stuffs. den headed home, doing the usuals, den went to bed.

Tuesday (17/10/06):

Huijing dear's bbday. goodness. but to realise that her day was bad cuz of some bastards. heh, DEAR! Don't be upset laaa okae! he's not worth it! & when are we meeting up! very long nv go Esplanade chill out already heh! =X anyyway, HAPPY 19th birthday! May you find ur guy soon, but please don't anyhow pick one. You can do w/o a guy laaa yeah. trust urself! must do well in school okae! see you in poly! xD

anyway, it was the IMF dinner that night @ Vivocity. and damn it, we've to bring all our stuffs along - like imagine carrying the stupid lappy and etc for just a dinner. Didn't really get to walk around Vivo, no time la. plus i've to report to Alex (in-charge) cuz me & another guy was appointed to meet the PM. heh, 2nd golden chance. Alex asked me to go.. duh. anyway, yeah. was alright la. nothing much thou.. just spoke to him about the IMF stuffs & nothing much. didn't really talked. scared say wrong things sia. LOL! so i just gave him a pleasant smile. =/ left all my stuffs with him cuz his hands are so free! damn it. my big bag & lappy were the troublesome ones. heh. =X kinda cool, the whole event. thou is held outdoor. dinner was buffet-oriented style, while i(those who met the PM) had the VIP foodddd. omgg. :D good fooddd heh! =X LOL! and guess what?! i've found back 2 of my PRIMARY SCHOOL friends! mygod. can you imagine. HAHAHAHHA. saw Calvin cuz he was also appointed to meet the PM, but didn't saw Yanwen. Just heard that she's around too. hahahaha, and she msged me telling me that. heh, meeting up soon? prolly. SG idol - Hady was there to sing us a few songs too. Was his 1st time out performing after the SG idol thingy.. yeah. pretty tired la. headed home after that.

New place to chill out eh? Vivocity. will go there again when i'm free. hahahaha, the outdoor's chilling out place is damn cool la! facing sentosa( i think). The place is sooo niceee. just that the location sucked. like, HARBOURFRONT ? is not like near my place or sth that i can walked home after chilling out. heh. but then again.. coolio~ laaaa. :D

Wednesday (18/10/06):

Bball finals. RP girls vs NYP girls. We won! yayayaya!! :D so happy! didn't watch the whole match. left halfway cuz for dinner. Champs for us this year! CoolioooO~~ guys however, came in 4th. Which is aso not bad la! good job, guys!

Thursday & Friday:

nothing much though. was with bird after school. lesson didn't end anywhere early. like imagine, I had "2 men show" ytd. -__-" only 2 of us were doing work. how great. and guess what's the module? -FReaKing MATHS.- but anyway, yeah.. after lesson, we're all so tired to go anywhere. wasn't feeling very well. more meeting ups, sweetheart! missyou laaa! ((: stop bothering about that bastard laaa eh. haha, friday was in school. wanted to go Vivo, but decided not to. cuz is damn far away from my school. Stayed behind to watch the Netball finals. heh, RP vs NYP (like again?!) den, TP vs SP. damn cool laaaa. the way TP played. *thumbs up! Sp that cute bball bung was there to support her friends man!! hahahahaha! guess eye-candy found seh. whahahaha. =x hazel will kill me if she sees this! Opps. =x but anyway, yeah. and guess who i saw? CAI YUTING !! :D:D
Girl, I MISS YOU the most man! we always say wanna meet up meet to where sia ?!?! =/ sooo sooo glad to see her around in school. hahahahha! awws.

Saturday (today) :

sleep in as there's no KidsREAD today. *phew- like finally man. Luckily i asked my frend last night. If not, today i'll gong gong go back to school w/o seeing any kids - I swear I'll go crazy man. siao. all the way back to woodlands. you must be kidding man. i'm so tired. gonna go take a short nap soon. heh. yeah, but still.. have to do housework first. basket. dont ask me where's the mom. freaking shit.

something random.

nice? LOL! hair being tired up by my classmate. haha. creative sia?

oh ya. did i mention that i intend to cut my hair today? but then again, i realise that as of lately, hairdressers doesn't know how to listen to instructions, hence, i've decided to hold it back. Might prolly go cut it next week or sth. Will see how first. my hair's like so grass-y now man. untidy untidy. but if the hairdresser gonna cut it real short i swear i'm going to burn down the shop. I had enough of the short hair days in chungchen g. hurhur. thinking of highlighting my hair again. eeehhhsss. sponser, anyone?

alrights. i think that's about all. did i miss out any? don't know.- *shurgs.. will update again den. till then! i'm off to do my stuffs. hurridly ; either i go back for a nap or i'll watch the shows in my lappy. goodness. my C:// is almost full can? i've got so many shows/movies yet to watch. HAHA! typical SG'ians. =x

Bball trg resumes back on mon. HURHUR. =/

bye!

((: say u miss me.

2006-10-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

Oh sweetheart, I didn't do much heh. yes yes, i still love you & dont wanna see you in a state of anger created by that stupid bastard. So, just ignore whatever shit he's saying on his blog laaarrr. Yes i know nuts about him ; neither do i WANT to know him. duh. siao kia. this is getting no where if you guys still continue like this lorr. you can pissed him off by ignoring what he say on his bloody blog seriously. he'll hit the roof upon realising you aren't playing with him any longer. Just dunch want to see you getting mad over his nonsensical rubbish. heh.

-

((:
every little thing means so much!
thank you for everything!
i'm just contented.
:D

STUF stivvy!

2006-10-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

DEAR LORD,

i hope you will kill those who bully ; especially guys who's sooooo bloody shitty Irritating & disgusting. I hope you will guide those guys who're soooooo bloody childish, may they learn to grow up & be more mature. better still, to commit into ur hands - since they like to call out to you soooo much when they ain't a believer ; neither are they a Christian.

-amen.

God doesn't kill. the above is just some crap.

KNS sia. how retarded a guy can be?? OHMYLORD, you're just soooo bloody retarded. Why do you come near to my sweetheart & trying to irritate her? don't you find urself irritating & disgusting? you choose to lose a friend & get urself an enemy. FOR WHAT MAN?

sweetheart, IGNORE HIM COMPLETELY PLEASE. LET HIM DIE. break all contacts with this guy. don't bother reading his blog anymore on what he have update ; delete his contact or sth. Don't have to get so mad over such a retarded freak please. I believe you've got better things to do. Just endure and ignore him. When he knows that you aren't "replying" to his quarrels, as time goes by, he'll just retreat. Don't bother to continue wasting ur energy on such a worthless guy man. He's just simply too free.

CURSE HIM.

yawns. this kinda guys should really go and die man, seriously. either you go bang the wall or sth la. why are you living on this earth still? fighting oxygen with so many of us. too free nothing to do? den go get prepared for ur NS or whatever shit lah!

ultimately, this is one of the reason why I HATE GUYS. childish bastards who never grows up.

headache!

2006-10-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

i'm having headache now. )):

the fact that i'm blogging 3 times straight in the afternoon would tell you how slow my lesson is going and how boring i am.

bloody hell.

i hate the giddness. )))):

saveee meeee.

guys are so retarded nowadays!

2006-10-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

nowadays, i wonder what's wrong with guys on earth. why are all of them behaving so retarded & childish? First was this guy who started the "quarrel" at my sweetheart's blog ; den i realise that there're many more guys who started the "bitching" session among themselves.

like, WTF. why are they all so retarded ?

It happens the same thing to En ning too. For God's sake, it's just bball. The passion, the what-so-ever ... Why does people bitch around or badmouth him ? Just because he plays better than you guys all ? KNS.

mygod. wad's wrong with guys. can someone tell me why.

-

I'm seriously NOT INTERESTED for school anymore. Everyday i come school, sit in here and stone like some retarded fuck please. and i wonder why. I'm not gonna quit studying ; bcuz I rather study than to work. okaes, just some rants about life. let me be. i'm just not feeling good inside me.

friday the 13th = bad mood day?

my facil is teaching so god-damn SLOW ; and we're stuck in for the presentation. like, HELLO! it's still only at the 2nd group please! 3 more to go !!!?? when bird's class has already ended ! WTF. fridays are so hard to get by ; is like, WEEKENDS ARE HERE! fcuk fcuk fcuk !

RRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

bastard, guess i'm just tired. pardon me. i'm like this.

pissed off.

2006-10-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

thankyouverymuch for doing nothing else other than pissing me off.

am i not being understanding enough? or what.

maybe i should stop the fuck shit for caring so much for you.

you like to see me getting pissed off and mad & den you dont give a shit.

thankyouverymuch man, seriously.

they lied.

2006-10-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

My mood's lately wasn't very good. yes, most of the time is (: , but when i'm alone.. whatever that took place yesterday, it flashes back in my mind.

falling sick soon. hopefully I don't.

They said that time would heal one's wound..
but they lied.

bored?

2006-10-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

uh wells, one look from it and you'll know the reason why am i here at this point of time.

wad else other than i'm being bored.

hahahas, done with my work, waiting for my bird to meet me. uhh, was supposed to meet sel for lunch or sth. but yeah, last min cancelled. :/ anyways, i'm just plain bored.

& ; i don't feel quite alright inside me. as in, with regards to health laaaa. not forever over the stupid r/s okae! just somewhat & somewhere unwell inside me - and i don't know where am I not feeling good.. soo.. i've no idea on what am i talking. heh.

one of my classmates brought guitar to school ; and they're out at the pantry strumming away. LOL. is like, the pantry's just next to my classroom laaaa. so, you can imagine the sound lvl of their singing and stuffs.. LOL!

okae, i'm off to meet my bird now. tata! laters!

boredd..

2006-10-08T00:42:00.000+08:00

I ought to be sleeping now. i'm sooo freaking tired please. but den, dunno why, i can't get to sleep. heh. and i'm here typing my keyboard away.

the haze in the sky these 2 days was a horrifying one. Today's worst. Back in school and i thought that it rained or sth. THE SKY IN WOODLANDS was GREY. like, omfg. GREY in the MORNING. can you imagine. not dark grey la. but still.. =/

ROARS.

so, after the kidsread trg in the morning, headed down to NLB for some kids management workshop with the rest. you know what, i'm so bloody tired that i slept on the train. beside me was Charmanine & Berlinda. We were all dozing off please. the rest of them were seperate cuz the train was kinda occupied la. hahas.. basket sia.. anyway, we were late for the workshop la. felt so bad. after the workshop, headed to town to meet Van. is like, so many donkey months we've met up la. hohoho.. went kbox plus chilling out there.. so much for us to catch up please. lalalala, den back home at around 11 plus. the sky out there now seems like it's gonna rain cats and dogs man. And i'm sooo suree that i'm bloody hell gonna fall sick soon.

believe me.

& i realise that i'm hungryyyy now. i didn't had my dinner. come to think of it, i only ate a curry puff when i'm in school and those tibits at kbox. till now. i'm kinda hungry-yet-don't-feel-like-eating. mygod. maybe i should go and sleep soon so that i wont think so much about it. DUH!

i needa meet my sweetheart and the rest of you guys soon! ohh ya! did i mention that my tests are coming up again? like, i've just started school for only 3 weeks !?! basket. hopefully can do better this time round man. no more playingg. *grins-

=D

2006-10-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

Friday for me nowadays, or rather, Semester 2, is always a "WOLS-poke" day. Facil teaching's slow. and whats not. Break time starts later and stuffs. basket shit. anyway, i'm glad it's weekends and i can get my sleepppp soooo much. nevertheless, i still have to be back in school tml morning for kidsREAD trg.. yups yups. Ohhh, not to forget, that cousin Adrian's going down to RP for friendly with the floor-ballers. LOL. all the best man! catch you around in this suckiest school ever. =x

Gals' matches today. First was SP vs ITE. AISEH. i saw that cute bung again can!?! *skips around. anyway, egg says she's too gentle to be the top 5 players. lol. like wtf. damn funnie. i went to the sports complex with my bird and egg, back to the canteen, to the toilet, like to and fro. den went in to the competition hall to see how the SP & ITE gals warm-up; while waiting for him to end his test and meet him there. duh. didnt wanted to catch the match ; but still, my feet's glued to the floor laaa! anyway, watched the 1st quarter den i zhao already ; didnt watch RP's match. was elated that they won TP today despite Zhaojing & huimin's not on court cuz of their injuries. HAHA! RP BBALLERS ; RAWK ON! =) after that, went off with him and the frens ; back to interchange den bused down to grandma's house. was late, yeah. expected to be nagged; but luckily never.

&, JIAHUI ! YOU THIS NEHNEHPOK. LIED TO ME. SAY U WILL COME IF YOUR BROTHER DOES, AND WHERE ARE YOU !?!?!?!
-cheated on me seh. )))):

oh wells, i'm kinda tired. LOL. think quite tired aso le. sian. *yawns. off from here! tooodlesssssss~~~

polite games.. rox on, gals!

2006-10-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

let's talk about something nice and good, somewhat. forgive me for all those vagular languages.. you guys know i don't mean it right. but life has been hell for me lately, i could not take it any longer. will draft it away when i feel like it.

talk about bball, yes. the gals have been doing well. RAWK ON, GALS! even thou i'm not selected for the match, i'm just trying to get on terms with it. and have been telling myself not to be lazy anymore. aiming for a place in ISIBL - i don't mind being a bench-warmer thou. =p DIET TIME + TRAINING TIME.

down to watch/support them(girls & boys): gals did well, we won SP and NP. but the boys part.. don't give up okae! they lost to SP ytd ; but i dare say that ytd's match is a cool & exciting one.. cuz we(RP) lost to them initially ; but towards the end we caught up; and won abit; den lose. imagine how much voice we've used to scream and shout and cheer for them. nevertheless, WORTH IT! opps. did i mention that one of the SP's bunk ; damn cute laaaa! omg. all of us knew it long time ago ; just that i wanted to take a look at her. OMFG. how could such a cute girl ever exist. okae sorry ; wrong channel.

anyways, watched guys NYP's match before RP ytd.. fo'en was playing. damn cool laaaaa.. chungcheng'ians will know RIGHTTTT!?!?! wahahhas.. den there was this group of guys sitting behind me. damn fcuking noisy. i dont know why guys can be so big mouth. Like please. get a life. anyway, they're just criticising en ning they all when they're down on court playing.. bastard sia, really. den only today i realise alot of stuffs about them cuz en ning told me about it. hmms, not easy to be a good bball player heh. but anyway,.. they just don't know him la. that's why they'll talk so much.

bball bball. i need motivation.

joey cried today. cuz of netball stuffs. den i realise that, i ought to be sitting there with them instead of the audience side. joey cried when we're on our way home. (he went to watch the match too.) stupid him la. ask me to console her; and i'm so afraid that i might say wrong things. i got him to take my lappy, like WHO ASK HIM. he got my blood boils before that too; spare the details. anyway, yeah. something like that la. i know how it feels when you're not being selected for matches. she's not down for it, cuz she's injuried. and me? just plain lazy. =/ looks like i really need to do some reflection, ain't it?

sighed.

went to shoot balls right after lesson - before the match starts. shoot awhile, played match together with shiying; damn i must say she's still as pro as ever! ((: played with hong yuan, vincent, selvest, hazel's bf initially. den after that, en ning & sherlyn's bf joined us. played w/o shoes ; feet got sooo bloody dirty, then went to get myself clean up before match starts. Coach brought her lovely daughter along. and i greeted her, feeling guilt. )): and guess what. i'm doing the baby-sitting. HAHA! joey feed her with pokky biscuits when we're trying to "bribe" her to come near to us. lOl. she just simply sticked with me and selvest has failed in terms of trying to get her talk to him. LOL. coach couldn't be anywhere happy i tell you. cuz we've won both the matches. the tough and challenging ones will be coming up soon, when we meet NYP & ITE combined. WOOHOOS. just checked it out man.

cas cas cas ; stop being lazy anymore.

---

i'm being "barred" from chucking anymore sad/depressing/whats-nots thingys anymore. my sweetheart is giving me a warning now. like, YES MDM. i need her laaaaa.. before she leaves me too. ): i'll try to cheer myself up. i promise, i'll try to "kan kai" as much as i can.

Guys vs NP tml. good luck pple! tired tired shit. =/

messy messy life.. sighed. imissyou.

2006-10-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

to hell with everything, seriously. i'm going through a whole truck loads of shit in my life now. As of lately. And so, i seriously appreciate that 'whoever' who try to pose as me ; scolding my friends on tagboard and what nots. like seriously, stop all these shit please. i've alot of things on hand that i need to go through - MYSELF - . Stop all these childness act bcuz i hate it when those victims come to me and ask me, " WHY DID YOU SCOLD ME ON MY BOARD?"

KNN.

please. thankyouverymuch.

seriously, this is so FCUKED UP. Before you guys tell me this sentence, kindly note ur tone. I GOT SO FCUKING WORKED UP whenever people come to me and ask me such a BLOODY question. think with ur brains. and, PLEASE. I HAD ENOUGH. I KNOW MY NAME'S NICE AND PLEASE. GET A TRADEMARK FOR URSELF. I can't stand it when i return back to those victim's blog and saw the rest of their FRIENDS cursing and swearing -ME-. like, THAT'S MY NAME, HELLO. I DONT FEEL FCUKING GOOD WHEN I SAW THAT BCUZ THAT'S MY NAME.

and is up to you guys if you believed that i'll do such a thing. stop telling me crap shits like, " i know you won't do it. " FUCK YOU. if you know that i wont do it why in the first bloody place, YOU GUYS COME AND CONFRONT ME?

YESTERDAY - FIRST TIME.
TODAY - SECOND TIME.
TML - ? WHO THE FCUK WILL COME TO ME?!

KNN.

life is messy for me lately. HELL WITH EVERYTHING.
-Studies is crap.
-Classmates is crap.
-BBall is crap.
-me & you = TOTAL CRAP.

what-more you want me to state out? If i fcuking tell you guys that I'm NOT THE LEAST affected that I'm not playing for Polite Games ; I'm Lying. OKAE. IF YOU GUYS KNOW ME WELL, I SWEAR THAT I'M FCUKING AFFECTED BY IT. I don't need to fight for the top 5 positions. Warming the bench is enough for me. And NOW? Sitting within the audience hasn't make me feel any good, OKAE.

FCUKED MY THIS WHOLE BLOODY FCUKED UP LIFE.

and you. I AM SERIOUSLY GOING CRAZY NOW. PLEASE. STOP ALL THESE ON-OFF ATTITUDE. I KNOW I SUCKED ; BUT PLEASE. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I JUST WONDER IF I SHOULD GET UPSET & DEPRESSED ; OR GET MAD WITH MYSELF.

MY LIFE JUST SUCKED. HAPPY, PEOPLE?

KNN.

do you still care ?

2006-10-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

Do you still care ?
if you do,
and that i meant something;
prove it to me.

thanks en ning..

2006-09-29T10:50:00.000+08:00

thanks to En ning. At least he bothers to cheer me up. & his drawing makes me (:

needless to explain ; neither do i noe how to explain.. i dunno what i should do, and how should i start from. perhaps to many of you, you may wonder why do i get so affected by it. but to me, it was the emotional feelings that plays a part all these while. It's not easy.

off for lessons, bye.

how true..

2006-09-29T10:39:00.000+08:00

A friend said, "yah, love/hate kinda thing. i totally get it. but oh well. life moves on but you'll never be the same person again, and you'll never deal w r/s the same way"

That's how you look at r/s's after you get fucked over once. Just once, and it's enough to last you a lifetime.

"ripped" over from someone while blog-hopping. how true it is.

teared.. why.. ='(

2006-09-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

the cas-residence was flooded by tears on 28/09/06, at 10.20pm.

spelled things out..

2006-09-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

Guess that what needs to be done has been done.

i dunno how are things going to be like.

but at least, i've spelled everything out that's on my mind.

look out for the bigger picture ; yet, neglected the smaller one.

have i done the right thing ; or wrong thing.

sometimes, i just wonder why..

perhaps this shouldn't have happened at all in the first place ; 4 months ago.

"don't think so much.."

hmms..

2006-09-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

"Don't think so much.."
- can someone kindly advice me on this. What does one mean when the person states this out? i need advice on this, like please help.

didn't get things trash out with him last night. online's so hard to talk things out. what's more i'm hogging on the phone. I can't even concentrate on the phone with 2 other people in there, like duh. (conferencing for ur info.) plus 7 other messengers waiting for me to reply. bastard. En ning was talking to me till he almost fall asleep cuz my reply was way too damn slow, I GUESS. HAHA. but anyway, ya. the main thingy is that i could no longer hold it inside me. it's bursting soon.

I Saw him today. how things were so different. the look from your eyes, the way you behave. and i saw how imitate you & her were. i told myself that you guys were just friends, no way i should be jealous ; but you MUST know, you've been neglecting so much that i'll get real sensitive over little stuffs like this. Is human nature, it's a gurl's thingy. I AM JEALOUS. WHAT DO YOU KNOW? I got so angry over it when you did not reply my msg & i assumed that you DON'T BOTHER TO REPLY ME, but why just as I intend to ask you to BUTT OUT, there comes ur msg? =/ and when you told me that you're having headache.. no idea why but i no longer feels angry. RAHH. stupid shit.

be true to me.

--

talk about school lately. life has never get anywhere better. School seemed MORE STRESS as compared to Sem One. -.-" Problems given were so hard that you are wondering why. given that you're not with the old classmates.. can't slack around or sth. damn it.

I was seriously bloody hell late for school today. Slept at 1 plus last night after talking to joc & jean. like duh. guess what time i woke today? bloody hell - 7.35am. LOL! and i happily thot it was a sat and I still slowly look around; den mom screamed into my ears that today's Wednesday. likeee.. w..t..h.. please. Ever since school starts, is either I wake up SUPERB late, if not then SUPERB early like 5.50am. ask me about it & i'll tell you more. reached school today @ around 9. plus minus around there. step into the class, look for En Ning - BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM. and he was sitting behind the stupid door. he told me online when i was still searching for him around in class. being late today which results to I Can't be in the same group as him & was being grouped with another 4 guys. bastard. he told me if only i'm alittle earlier, then i'll be with the same group as him already. damn it. together with the rest of the funnie-livier people. my group was so damn stress esp working with someone in particular. that's the trouble of being in a new class in a new Semester. RP JUST SUCKED.

know what? i'm the oldest in class. inside joke. ask me & i'll tell you. bastard sia. last time W15E at least still got 3 more others laaa.. :/ hell with it. went to slack around with Egg, Duck & bird after school today. slack ard in canteen and that's where i bumped onto him. went over to the bball court for awhile, guys trg. slack ard. den went home alrd. life's bored.

tml's thursday. =/ bball trg. HAHA. lazy lazy me. sighed. i wonder how.. give me more time to face bball & coach. J's thinking of quitting. i mean, rahhhh. i aso dunno laaaa.. to hell with everything.

friday's celebrating ame & kc's bbday. hohoho.. hopefully everything's fun on that day.

life's about whining. whine and whine. sighed. i'm afraid of sth.. sth that CANNOT happen.. if it does, i'm dead. going off from here. sleeping soon, i guess. nights.

- i can't forget the look given from your eyes.
image stays.

all i want is assurance..

2006-09-25T22:32:00.000+08:00

looking back at some convo, wonder why are we like this. sometimes, looking back just bring tears and nth. yes, teared over little stuffs. teared over the way you treat me - BUT sometimes, i zap myself back to reality ; saying that, you did NOTHING wrong, is just me, having high expectations from you.

all i want is just assurance. is that so hard? just wanting to see you every day at least 15 mins i'm aso happy, is that so hard? 1 month. why am i missing someone who doesn't gives a shit to me? oh my lord. something is wrong, seriously wrong.

OMFS.

--

the "scars" on my leg has surfaced. like, to hell with it please. strokes - like being ~~caned~~ whack by my mom like tat. Mom was wondering why did she give me a pair of legs for. everytime fall down. walk aso fall ; cycle aso fall. -.-" Yayayya, stop giggling in front of the screen okae. :/ why's everyone laughing at me. "ta ye bu li wai. " =/

--

same group as En ning again. no, didnt wear the same shirt, no worries. lol, for once, people thot that he was "casey"!! Lol. laugh my ass off today. hahas, but he's quite nice actually. wahahha. anyhows, i just told the person who thot he's casey that, yeah go ahead. LOL. and i can be called "en ning" instead. LOL. =x okae not funnie. hmmms.. but he sure does.. resembles.. hurms.. :/

OMG. van, i've got a friend called KW too. you know you know. OMFG. but she's rather sweet. ahhahahas, braces us. :D anyway, inside info. HAHA, got a shocked when i saw the namelist please. basket, you noe how sensitive i am to it rightt !!? aiehhh, if you're reading this, just hope that you're doing fine yeah. will meet u up soon! ((:

aieh oh ya. skipped bball trg today. holy lor. i'm so lazy to go now. lalala.. polite starts next week which means i wont be free the whole of next week. cuz that week's packed with matches which i'll be going down to support ; duh, not play la. HAHAHA. so, yeah. anyways, i'm off soon. wonder who's my lect for tml. today's one.. hurms.. dunno shld say boring or wad. uh wells, just first lesson only wad. shall see how den.

till den again! nights.

cycling is fun!! ((:

2006-09-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

" Have you ever tried to push a boiled noodle across a countertop? It's not very easy to do -- there's no structure to support your pressure, so the harder you push, the more of a mess you make. Remember that today when you come across something you want to change or push aside. The situation won't respond to your pressure, no matter how great. And like the noodle, if you push too hard, you'll end up with a big mess on your hands. Let things take their natural course. In the end, it will be better for you this way. "

- that was my horoscope for the day from friendster. was wondering what's the message it's trying to send out. HA, anyways.. yawns. tml's monday. boring.

School has started 2 days. new classmates, damn quiet. i wonder are they all so shy or they're really that quiet to speak out. anyway, i didn't knew anyone else other than Shirely - from Orion Camp that time ; and En Ning - bball frend. i didn't know him personally ; but it's thru Chanel.. anyway, just the 2nd day itself, shirley disturb us as "couple". cuz we coincidentally wore the same shirt ; luckily DESIGN not the same, if not it'll be worst. LOL. everything's the same, what's worst was that we're in the same group! =P rahhh! this class's kinda competitive ; damn it. no fun, no madness laughter like how me & chanel used to laugh w/o any reasons. even during break-outs they don't go together.. but thank God, cuz we're meeting our ex classmates for makan! HAHA! that's the coolest part of all. ((:

bball trg tml. suddenly don't feel like going anymore. but i dunno how. ISIBL i'm not playing, let alone for POLITE games. HAHA, i don't intend to play anyway, that's why i don't feel disappointed for not being choosen. just tat, i'll miss my clique of bball mates if we drift apart. ): the rest, nothing much. this bball team ain't a strong bonding team as compared to CCHB's. talk about it with Chanel before.. and she agrees it too. like, why is everyone fighting for a position? i mean, nahh. people who know me well will understand.. i just don't like this kinda stuffs. freak-out. bball is my life, yes, but if anything that will bring unhappiness then i rather let it go. :/ Rahhh wadever..

headed for cycling with DJ & Eugene yesterday - like how pathetic is that. HAHA. only the 3 of us. went after kidsREAD, den ECP rained. WOOHOOS, but we still continue to cycle ; not that it rained cats and dogs.. cycled for 1hr plus den DJ's cousin picked us up. headed to Bedok to makan, after that Bingkun & yikai came to find us. HAHAHA.. DJ they all left soon while i stayed with them and slack around. walked to another coffee shop and sat there watch tv. LOL. how great right. wahahhas.. den after tat we went back to Bedok inter and slack there again. life's slack for us! :D den guess what. i had a fall again. ))): not gonna mention here cuz it's damn embarrasing. just tat my leg hurts esp when i bathe. hais. after tat, yikai went home, left me & bingkun headed to tamp to find sinlok. LOL. it was fun on the way to tamp! hahas, but i swear it's so a frightening experience laaaa.. =/ slack awhile, catch the last bus back home. tired tired. out from morning till late at night. wahahahas.. nevertheless, i had fun! fun with all my friends. i like it this way..

don't wanna wallow in self-pityness and cope myself up the whole day, thinking of nonsense and rubbish stuffs ; got myself so fcuking upset for dunno who fcuking's sake. so yeah. DATE ME OUT! (((:

did i miss out anything? HAHA. time for bed, guess i'm going to give training a miss tml. oh wells, lazy lazy cas. nights pple! x)

you won't be reading this, but, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUCK! x)

messy life..

2006-09-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

Whenever I get emo after watching a love drama or listening to sad songs, or have been thinking of certain stuffs.. tears just rolled down my cheekbones.

my mind will start to wander around for all the nonsense that's going on ; or whatever you can think of.

YOU ; why are you affecting me in any way?
why is it YOU .
why am i still hanging on?
why do i still care when YOU don't even bother ?

i don't want assumptions; i HATE assuming things, i want to feel secure; why have YOU changed so much?

i feel like my life's like a cycle. happy times comes by once in a blue moon.. but then again, HAPPY ? HA. since when, am I really smiling from my heart ?

我会发着呆　然后忘记你,
接着紧紧闭上眼,
想着那一天会有人代替,
让我不再想念你.

IMF over!!

2006-09-20T22:09:00.000+08:00

HAHA!
20th Sept - that sums up the whole IMF event today. like FINALLY! ((: but so much of fun all's coming to an end. Friendly bus uncles & policeman on board, new lovely friends and stuffs. Get to see some nice , handsome guys cuz the way they dressed. WOOTS. cute la huh. =x then there's this Mr. Nice guy that'll get food for me when i passed by him. WAHHAHAA. okae okae, damn paiseh please. and the bus uncle & policeman can't stop disturbing laaa. alrights, well if fate permits, we'll meet on street someday again.

Of course, there are alot of unhappy stuffs that happen ; but is all under the table. like who'll knows other than those who're involved?

Now, define the word:"flirt."

--

uh guys who've got looks aren't reliable. true or false?

guys who can't get the telephone no. of the first girl then went ahead to get from the 2nd girl ; how do you see this guy as?

--

AH. IMF ends means start of the new semester again. Results for Sem One was a horrifying one and I know that I can't play anymore. gotta get myself settled and be prepared for school once again. New classmates ; everything's gonna be new. Like i've said, RP just SUCKED. i'll never take this sentence away. it just sucked in every single thing. so what if they're rich and haf tons of money. they just still sucked big time.

=(

2006-09-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling the least good now. FCUK everything, seriously.

New class is out. and it sucks big time i tell you. Got myself in a another block, KNS PLEASE. W2 !!! like WTF. boring shit. Chanel's same block & level - but different class. WanNing got herself back in W1 ; which is like, so much nearer to the entrance and stuffs. FCUK PLEASE. the only good thing is that the LT is in my block so that i need not rush to get good seats whenever there's a need to be there - but the question now is, how often do we need to be dere?

RAHHHHH !!!

i'm feeling so horrible now. so sorry people.. )):

IMF thingy - ends today. Tml's first day of school. first day of school land myself for a Science module ; like seriously how BORING can it be. he was busy complaining to me earlier on, den i was like, "HAHA-ing away". basket, now my turn. tmd sway. School's starting. how retarded.

~~i haven seen him for the past 1 month. alrights, perhaps it doesn't matter anymore. (?!)~~

---

Watched fireworks alone, in the middle of the streets, like how pathetic can I be please. anyway, it goes like this. Fireworks session for IMF thingy, i knew it like long ago please. and happily thinking that i'm gonna miss it so i dont bother to ask anyone out for it either since i'm caught up with the IMF the whole night. After our duties, me & hannah took bus 16 back, on our way to cityhall, we saw the fireworks. We're like some KIDS that have never seen fireworks in our whole life before. SCREAMING and YELLING AWAY on the bus. LOL ! okae is total crap i tell you. how excited can we get? lol, alighted at Capitol Building there, where i walked back to the traffic junction there and stop , stood there and watched fireworks all by myself. with other passer-bys. Never in my whole life i've ever felt so lonely. the melancholic feeling just came by me and i was wondering why.

sel & kh picked me up at newton and headed for supper at Adam's Food Centre. nothing much thou.. finish eating den slack around for awhile den they sent me back. ((: almost got gastric pain please. the whole day at the event i didn't eat anything laaa. - this is not the first day anyway. RP students are like some "lost sheeps" please. spare the details/complains - lazy to type out. even the policemen aso pity us. so what do you think of us? sickening piece of shit. at least those army guys are nice enough to help us to buy food instead. if not i guess we'll all be eating grass already.

gave baby beldon's bbday celebration a missed. how fast time flies.. he's already one year old. ((:

---

i'm off. pretty tired now. mood's getting no where better either. bye.

he's sick. like please. get well soon. ):

re-update?! weeeeee.. :D

2006-09-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

Wad i type in my previous entry was what I mean. x)

~~all for you..~~

anyway, some updates about life lately. haven really been blogging and ranting about life right? No doubt, still the same. anyway, drove to airport to send Bryan off last night ; kh meet me at my house downstairs after i rushed home from my IMF duty. lol ; skipped the last slot - since there wasnt anyone around. like DUH. Shannon, kh, sel, daniel, kenny was there too. blah blah, the mom, aunt(?), and sis was there too.. blah blah.. some stuffs happened. (: but don't feel like mentioning here, sooo.. IS MY LILL SECRET! x) HAHA! is nothing the big deal la ; just tat i'm the silly one.. so yahh.

anyway, we saw that another bryan; the wad "quan ming ou xiang" or dunno-what-shit guy. ANYWAY, he just sucks big time please. lol, we were calling out for Bryan( OUR bryan), then he kept thinking that we were trying to disturb him and he turn back and gave us those pissed off look. -_-" i mean like, you think with ur ass la please. for the 1st 2 time you might think we're calling OUT to you ; but subsequently, you SHOULD and OUGHT to know that we're not calling out to you right. piang. si eh no brain sia. so what you think you're some "STARS" ? anyway, tat's like dunno-how-many-donkey-years-ago's idol competition? AND, you don't LOOK any-where freaking great either. , meaning: YOU ARE NOT THAT HANDSOME WHAT. so dont have to put up wif those kinda "airs" in you. as if we're dying to see you like that. me and shannon was like, *%(#*!)%*#&&%*^( KNS SIA! -> those type of feeling. LOL!

PHOTOS PHOTOS ; WHERE ARE THEY.

so after he left, we went to Bedok 85 for supper. like duh, i didnt eat la. how late already. shannon and me drank sugar-cane while the guys were eating. after which, sent them back. last to drove back was KH. you know what? AFTER SENDING HIM BACK, i dunno what was on my mind, den i drove all the way OUT to paya lebar way. SHIT MAN. i tell you, i almost freaking lost my way. as in, i'm not VERY familiar with the route there waddd... somemore so late le. pengs. den all the way out to Serangoon dere den return home. freak-out i tell you. back home at around 2plus. luckily still got spaces to park man, dad woke up and afraid that i've no spaces to park.. but to me, i was more afraid that he didn't slp the night but just to wait for me to be back home. =/

HAHA! anyway was freaking happy last night. WOOHOOS. <3 (: not to mention that i'm freaking tired please.

i've been like, travelling around in the bus - around suntec to orchard. rounds and rounds until i'm so afraid of going to town now. i mean, it sounds abit exaggerating but yahhh ; imagine going ROUNDSSSS within 1 day. =/ think must "banned" myself from stepping into town at least 2 weeks. uh wells, guess there wont be any much time to step into town either, cuz after this IMF thingy ; the next day is the start of 2nd sem! SUPERB NO LIFE SIA i tell you. wad's more, i didnt really picked up ALOT of delegates yet ; perhaps the next coming few days, the no. is going to increase soon. and i freaking hate those desk officers stationed at Meritius Mandarin - BCUZ THEY MADE ME GO ALL THE WAY DOWN FROM MY BUS AND INTO THE HOTEL ; JUST TO TELL THEM MY BUS NO. I mean, why can't YOU people COME OUT INSTEAD , since the rest of them can do so? basket sia, i tell you. ARGH. alrights fine. anyway, it's just a few more days event ; just ENDURE.

-

did i mention that you guys don't have to ask me out for any alcoholic consumption for the next half-a-year? HAHA. anyway, PLEASE. do not ask me out to drink for this coming 6 months ya. thank you so much.

- 70 more days. =/

2006-09-14T13:55:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO GROW TALLER !

=)))

2006-09-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

I LOVE DADDY ...

and

MOMMY.

=))))

i'm off soon ; to the airport.

There will be miracles when you believe..

sunny side up!

2006-09-12T11:56:00.000+08:00

HAHA! HELLO PEOPLE! MY NEW SKIN! CUTE ANOT?!?! WHAHAhhAhahas.

right. life's like an egg! a sunny side up one! well at least i want it to be. i dont wanna cry any more tears (hopefully) again ; it just pain and i wanna be a happy girl like how i used to be one! do you all miss the cheery casey in the past ?!?! :D

yeah, just trying to be mad. hehehe.. saw this skin quite some time ago already but then, i just don't have the time to change it. Changed it yesterday afternoon and get them edit here and there, TATATA! here it is. looks somehow the same as my previous skin, as in, the details and stuffs - that's bcuz i'm lazy to think of any new stuffs to text it down la. aiyar, you guys know me can already la. don't have to let the whole world know about me yarh?

mygod mygod. today's my 1st day doing the IMF thingy. HAHA. luckily i'm given the afternoon shift ; though it's gonna be tedious as it ends late at night, but it beats better than wanting me to wake up early in the big morning. oh wells, MSN sucked badly last night that i can't sign in. i rolled on my bed for almost an hour, given that the pain i have with me - i couldnt get to sleep! but dunno why, i just fall after that. =/ very tired lehh. woke up around 9plus today cuz wanna get things prepared. going to bathe soon den slack around before i'm off!

my teeth still hurts that badly laaa.. oh wells, i'm HUNGRY , PEOPLE!! GIVE ME FOOOODDDD!! :D

right, self-consoling/ self-motivation/ self-whatever-you-called-it :

LIFE WILL BE FINE FOR ME. I WILL BE A HAPPY GIRL like how i USED TO BE. =D
throw those heart-aches away!

braces hurts!

2006-09-11T14:53:00.000+08:00

rahhhh !!

my teeth hurts like f..c..u..k now. PLEASE TAKE AWAY THE PAIN !!!

uh wells, it does happens everytime i go back for a review, aint it.

but it's fcuking painnn pleaseee!!

=(((

i'm so bloody hungry now but i can't seem to swallow any food down.

skipped 2 meals today. breakfast-cum-lunch. let's see how long i can hang on. the pain's replacing the food in me. Holy man.

Oh btw, U2, G2000, FOX & FOXkids are having their so-called, warehouse sales i guess. not sure if there're any others. uh wells, @ Ngee Ann City Tower B #24-02/05 . basket, like helping to promote like that. AHHHH !!!

i'm going crazy soon with the pain. and it's freaking hell pouring cats & dogs over here that i can't get out of the house. Yes, i'm pretty lazy to step out but if i don't , then i haf no time this whole coming week. uh wells, i will need to make time for my other frens too! not forgetting my lovely sister, charmaine. HEY. will meet you soon okae!

i feel like sleeping now. care to take a look at my eye-lids? something happen; and i look like a total freak now. *yawnss..

survivathon'06 !

2006-09-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

Survivathon was okae.. But i guess last year's better. Perhaps last year bcuz we're in charge and get our hands on in the preparation. But not much of this year. Sec 3s were doing the job while we're out supervising.

Jeanne, Yuan Ze & I drove out at night to pick Joc up ; den headed to Geylang to pack "Dou Jiang You Tiao" back for the rest. Reached back school and everyone was there! Weihong, kahmeng and people. Played bball earlier on with Zhenxing, YuanZe, Kianhui & Sel. sighed. talking about bball.. =/ Didn't sleep well even thou we have the time to do so. Woke up in the middle of the night and Bk came ; went to open door for him. den realise that Ame, Kh they all went out to makan! -_-" SHIT MAN. should have go with them too.. but can't la. cuz i know that if i dont have enough sleep i'll sure !*$(#%*@(#! the next day. =/ didnt slp much too ; have to FORCE myself to sleep. basket sia..

anyway, it's over. and i guess that it's pretty fun! everyone's back esp WEIHONG. omg, guess w/o him there wont be so much of laughter cuz he was busy disturbing Andrew! lol ; mygod. the laughter tat we used to have!! pictures shall do the talking ! i'm waiting for Kaiching to send me the rest den upload together.

hais. very tired sia. tml freaking in the big morning still got dental. kns sia.. give me lousy timing. guess after that i'll be back home sleeping. HOlely man, tuesday IMF thing.. can't imagine how am I going to face those delegates with my freaking triple eye-lid! OHH NOO!! ):

i'm having emotional mixed up again. i dont know why but it happens once in a blue moon. wad a stupid shit. =/

4 days to go.. hurry backk.. =/

2006-09-07T15:19:00.000+08:00

Deleted the previous post. wad an emo ~~kid~~ idiiot i've been. hais. oh wells, i'm always like this, aint it so?

Suddenly, don't know why. Have been giving bball trg a missed - like this holidays, i've not been for the least very one training. oh wells, cas cas, you're sucha lazy bum! ): commitment isn't there anymore, suddenly feel very sian and stuffs. hais.. i'm so tired. why my triple eye-lid is back again!?!?!

i want money! drop some from the sky oh please. tml's survivathon, will be back in chungcheng ; camp overnight! woohoos.. (: definately looking forward to it, hopefully it'll be fun - cuz it's our batch pple over there.

Hubby Jay's new album - Still Fantasy ! *thumbs up! there're some nice songs - muchloves* the song he & feiyuqing sings one aso damn zai la.. lol. <3 lalala..

ah.
boring boring.

meeting my sweetheart and bk later i guess. oh wells, it has been ages since we've met up laaa.. ohh sweetheart, miss you so muchie please. =x

my 400th post ; rights, see how long have i blog for already? -_-" Out of so many enteries, how many enteries are sad & depressing ones? oh wells, anyway, was thinking if i should change my blogskin.. want something more cheerry ; this skin like so depressing like tat .. wth la. sighed. shld just go find something to do.. it's getting bored.. i'm off for now. will blog till den!

you're the reason for my behavoir now ;
you're the reason for my emo-ness.
you're just the reason for everything

hurry come back..
imissyou..
((:

a golden chance..

2006-09-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

I could have gotten a chance to speak to the Prime Minister tml, face-to-face.
I could have been the only one to represent my school.

tell me why am I such a stupid girl?

告诉我，为什么我这么笨？！！

我好后悔！！ =（

just kill me please. is once in a lifetime event ; and i merely gave my answer slightly later , there goes my chance. my golden chance. a chance that not everyone could have got it.

so as the saying goes:

"过了这个村，就没有这个店了。"

i'm so regret now. awws.. horrible feeling. i hate the feeling of being regret. really..

why am i so stupid??

为什么！？！？！

rahhh !!! =(

they want me to be happy..

2006-09-04T00:23:00.000+08:00

Kh: why is your nick always so sad?
me: where got? always like this one wadd..
ame: yeah lorr.. time to change ur nick..
kh: yeah, put " I'm a happy girl."

-

it has been always like this that i didnt realise that i was being an emo freak all these while ; and so, i've changed it to, "i'm a happy girl . as requested by ame & kh."

kw: "ROFL see all ur frens want you to be happy , cheer up and stop thinking of the past. :D "

and so, i realise that all my frens really want me to be happy.

and maybe i should really be one.

myself.

sentosa photos..

2006-09-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

Haven been updating for quite some time heh. too long never post up photos already ; have forgotten how to adjust the size and stuffs.. =/ just do with it la. it's for fun anyway. Sentosa photos here now..

she's so funky please!! the tram driver..

it took me alot of courage to climb up there.. is quite high man.. =/

some of us..

hahahas..

me & ber..

yours truly.

& so ; life's been pretty busy. for so many of us. including us. uh wells, i should try to get used to it ; or rather, i'm already feeling numb that i no longer care so much.

do you still care?
does it still matter?

not gonna go into detail for the chalet's stuffs. can tell is quite unpleasant aint it ? anyway, it's too long the story to start, so i rather dont mention anything about it. chungcheng'ians the best! =) i miss those days when we have chalet with our own classmates man! Boy, that's like.. 3 - 4 years back already laaa.. make me feel so old now. uhhs.. pretty tired as usual, came back home on thursday & i slpt the whole night, till 10pm, wake up & watch "my lovely samsoon" - then K.O back till the next day ; afternoon. WOOHOOS. so nice to sleepp.. but i need a job!! i'm so broke now pleaseee.. i've yet to get my crumpler bagg laaa... =(

my hols are soon coming to an end. =/ not that school's re-opening; but just that i can't get to sleep late everyday soon. rahhh.. i just wishe i could sleep through till i'm fully fresh awake !! i realise i'll complain tired & will start to yawn again after waking up for 2 hours ! OMG.

i actually intend to blog about certain unhappy stuffs. uh wells, anyway, decided not too now. i realise i'm tired and i need my bed soon, so i'll leave the unhappy stuffs prolly on another entry ; another day instead. if you're wondering what topic i'll touch on, is about GUYS. go ahead and brainstorm on what i'll !&(%#*%)@*#@!*%&*# on.

oh btw, i almost knocked down a GUY today. I swear i would so much wanna knock him down, but if i did, there goes my 2k & my time spent.~~KNN.~~ TYPICAL GUYS. but this time round is not my fault. God's looking and i dare say IS NOT MY FAULT!!

i'm off. puhhrr. emotional unstable now. =/

far, far away...

photos talking part I ..

2006-09-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

As mentioned earlier on, when i'm free; will upload some photos. i'll do the talking afterwards perhaps.. now, photos shall do the talking. 4 months with this class.

The best friends of all:

look at the sequence. lol ; funnie shit.

The one who drives us CRAZY & STRESS on every tuesdays:

my turn! =P

still want us to "act cute" with her. lol ;

Our toilet breaks:

The "ah-lian" facilitator. lol

Dont argue with her; she's a law-yer.

time for bed?

sentosa's pic another time. now's just some random ones..

toodless!!~ =)

boring sunday..

2006-08-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

HA! sunday's afternoon is sure to be a boring one.. ain't it ? :/ i've been rotting at home for almost 2 hours plus after my 12-hour sleep. Don't bother to wake me up so early on Sunday anymore, bcuz that's the only rest day I have.

Entering the 2nd week of hols soon, or rather, still just the first week. things have been piling up. With kidsREAD graduation coming up, more planning have to be done. I'm going to be the host for that! *ahem* hopefully i wont screwed things up. This is my first time aso. heh, bball trg are not forgotten, plus Survivathon, den lastly, IMF stuffs. my whole hols burnt out. and i want a HOLIDAY !!! ): talking about bball trg; hais. i just feel so useless please. guess after this sem, next sem when chanel's not in the same class as me anymore, would i still be pulled to go trg? maybe yes ; maybe no. It seems like i cant catch up with them. Stamina sucks ; skills aso sucks like nobody's business. awws.. where's the sporty cas gone to? yahh, prolly "LAZY" is the word to describe me. sighed.

Bumped onto Yuting!! MY DEAR YUTING!! at interchange yesterday. and wart, she's already on the bus den i realise it's her! -_-" so i hurry msg her and ask if she's in my school and stuffs. WAHPIANG. den she told me that she was in my school on friday for the AGM meeting'06 also !! WAHLAO, why waasn't I being invited !?!?! lol, and he went too. damn, everyone's having fun. heh, oh ya, did i mention that the S2006 Uniform sucks like some SHIT. And best part was, I was given 'S' size. and when i told him about it, he couldnt stop laughing. how iddiiot. YAH, GO AHEAD AND LAUGH man, i dont mind. I mean, But the point is... why cant change to 'M' size lahhh. is not that i don't fit into the small size one.. just tat, i prefer bigger size shirts lahh huh.. damn it. so now, really have to go on diet already lor? Lol, must draw out plans already.. gym time!

heh, almost kena accident last night. scary seh. lol, but i have to admit it was my fault la.. cuz i was concentrating my views on elsewhere rather than on the road. -_-" Dad went, " OEI!" very loud, tamade xia si wo le. den i brake very hard. -.-" my car was very near to the car in front of me please. luckily mom wasnt around ; if not she'll start !$#^(@&#^*%$!# . *phew. scary sehhh.. den dad ask me to CONCENTRATE. bloody shit. think of it aso scared. imagine if really bang onto it. siao liao lor. haf to pay money lor. like i'm already so broke already lor. =/ basket.. hais. thank God man.

and i need a job now! i've gotten one, the bringing the children to walk around SG one, the trail thingy ; by Jas. and guess wad, my big cousin knows the person dere! den he went to call his fren who's working in that company and said that Casey's my cousin, blah blah blah.. so paiseh la! >.<" so i'll be bringing the kids out on tuesday. little india trail.. >.<" hopefully they're one nice kids that wont give me trouble! heh, but something bad. i've gotta rush back home and get my stuffs den headed down to chalet laaa.. haf to buy things before that lehh. Piang eh, swear i can die from tiredness man. yet i still wanna look out for others. coffee-club back again?! lol, -siao.

guess i'm off from here! haf to go pack up the whole house, cut my nails (maybe) denn denn.. SLACK! i wanna watch my show laaa.. den going airport later! WOOHOOS!! <3 I wanna sleep aso! *yawns.. lol, BYEEEE !

sel's bbday dinner.. (((:

2006-08-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

Gonna make a fast one, before I forgot what to blog about. (: I'm pretty tired too and have to return back to school early in the morning tml to settle the S2006 Uniform stuffs. soo yahh..

Last day of school yesterday. Not everyone turned up and i don't know why. Was superb late for lesson. Reach school around 9.30am or so. LOL, heck care. the whole day was just simply online, surfing around. Wanted to pon lesson and headed to Library to play X-box instead ; or to just walked out.. But didn't. Dont understand what the whole problem was about - can't be bothered to do anything either. Thank Goodness that Alisa's the smart girl around, she does the job. =x The rest of us were just either slacking, watching show, or playing warcraft. LOL! holiday mood alrd, what say you lehh? I even IM the lect to ask her to come to class immediately and present her answers to us instead ; YES. we choose to give up. And so, that summarise W15E. But that's not the end. Upcoming would be the chalet! hopefully everyone have fun & things goes smoothly. Friendship remains that cool always.

Lesson ended darn early for the first time in history, YES I SWEAR IT IS. Ended at 2.55pm ; like HOW IS IT POSSIBLE PLEASE. :D Camwhoring session while waiting for Selwyn to end his lesson. Fooled around and he came to my class at around 4plus. I was happily surfing net till i forgot to do my hw. LOL, rush it out and he's there waiting, while watching dunno-what-show that Matt screened it out. Afterwhich, bused down to Marina to meet Bryan & the rest for dinner! =DDD birthday boy ; so much reach on the dot whatt righhttt.. =X i'm being the kind soul okaeee. i escort him horrr. =X Aiseh, kh wanted me to delay time whatttt. so we happily bused down from Woodlands to Marina. Rotting sia. damn tired aso. Dine in at Billy Bombers.. err, so-so la.=/ best part was when the cake was being presented in front of him! whahahhas.. he's so "a-shy-boy" please! lol.. After dinner, we headed to Esplanade to slack and silly Bryan came up with a silly game. LOL, not gonna mention here.. but is darn funnie please. awws.. Went off at around 11plus or so, ame bused back from Esplanade ; while I choose to walk with them. DEN who knows that Bryan insist that they want to send me back to Bugis at least, cuz is so late le.. uh wells, so paiseh laaa. the whole group of them can? den somemore they're all so tired already.. but well, I appreciate it alot ! (((: at least i know that they're the gentleman kinda. hehhee.. hard to find okaeee. so many guys are still so freaking childish please. =X uh wells, had alot of fun and chatting with them on the way back.. Initially was still afraid that we might not click with the others. But it was rather a happy and well-spent evening. HAHA! reach home late and slpt late, duh.

woke up at ard 6plus 7 this morning, send mom to the Airport. Happily leaving for Shanghai w/o bringing me along. how evil can this be. Send her off alrd den headed down to Sentosa to find my W15E darlings. Bumped onto Joey & her friend on the bus! lol. It was a fun day! yayaya! took lots of photos & waiting for them to send to me. and I'm so burnt i guess. my face looks like some baby lobster please. =/ tired. me & chanel den rush off for Bball trg. hell with it. we took a cab down can. WAHLAO, den was late la. aieh, spare the unwanted details. haiss.. kekex, think i shall blogged again soon. my eyes are freaking closing already! awws. i miss mommy! she'd better buy gifts back for me if not i'll !(*%)#*Q($)#* into her ears! =x Nights darling world! (:

not easy to be an organizer.

2006-08-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

RIGHT. so, lady luck hasn't really been with me lately. And I seriously need God's blessings now. uhh, sounds wrong? whatever. Anyway, it wasn't easy to be an organizer. and fcuk the whole piece of shit. PMS-ing? dunch know; dunch care. Having to collect $ from the whole class wasn't an easy task. I dun like to show black faces to my frends from having to collect money laaa.. is like, money is the root to all evils. or sth like that, so yah. May God bless that I may be financially stable by this week; so that we can get ready for the chalet! wells, is the fun time laaa.. i just dun wish that these money matters would strain our friendship away.. Is really silly and dumb, you know. sighed. uh wells, prolly i'm just one bad organiser this time round. sorry, but this is my first time laa.. i hate to be "in-charge" of these kinda stuffs. rahhh!

Last day of school tml. Definately will miss this class. Is like, 1 whole sem - 4 months, wonderful classmates, though friction can be seen somewhere around in between us; but at the end of the day, we're still good frens! made many girlfriends in class and best brother-brother friends around! Have been camwhoring these past few days.. Solomon, Matthew and the few others have specially made a video for the class and it was screened yesterday. :D damn emo please, because those were the memories! and i wasn't informed of it.. omg, almost cried please. Was having a hard time of holding back the tears that were in my eyes.. I don't wanna start the ball rolling.. whahahas, anyways, their mission had failed. LOL, they wanted me, chunbin, liping and dunno who to cry ; or rather, they THOUGHT that we'll cry.. *pheww.. hahas, i just don't want to be the one laa..later if i'm the one crying alone that'll be so weird. =/ Headed to Swensen's after school with Chanel, Manqing, WanNing, Solomon, Cheryl, Daniel & Cedric. wahhahas.. had earthquake (as usual) while some of them ate the main course. LOL, and over there, we've created memories again. Like duh, i'm the main cast. LOL... funnie shit, but only the people who're around will understand ! lOl.. hard to explain laa in words laaa huhh.. fun! fun! all the fun & laughter! today aso another round. But chanel fly me on SQ today; uh huh.. initially was feeling regretful for going to school, but at the end of the day, i never regret. hahahas, we did alot of stupid things after school laa.. iddioott.. lol. tml's another fun day. Oh yah, did i mention that i was late for class today? LOl. reach school around 9.15 or so please. wahhahahas.. tml aso gonna be late. lalalallaa..

i just wanna go school laaa.. to have fun; not lessons. Lol.

went home to drop my stuffs den went to town to meet jeanne & Kianhui to shop for Sel's pressie. like, we're gonna have dinner with him tml. hahahhas.. hopefully everyone will have fun! wahhahas.. had alot of photos taken recently.. will prolly post up on friendster instead of here. so just check it out there laa. i'll post up on here when i'm much more free or sth. ((: Sat @ Food Republic for makan and we had a heart-to-heart talk. hahhaas... sorry jeanne, kinda neglected you.. didnt really have a good time to meet you out for coffee.. uhhs.. we'll do it soon okae! i'm gonna have my holidays soon! bused home with kh after that.. before that, had alill chat back about the past. )): which kinda made me feel REGRET ! *O-U-C-H. haiss. the past, the past, the past. *sighed.

Anyways, this thurs my class will be going to Sentosa! HAHA! something that Manqing has looked SUPERB forward to. ((: and me & chanel's gonna get burnt & tired out after thursday. Cuz we're both having bball match in the night. like duhh, imagine how tired can we be. I don't really wanna go for the Sun laaa, is like, I'm so "black" or rather, TAN now please. -.-" very uglyy lehhh. AISEH.

wahahhahas.. SHIT. it's 12 am already! wahhahas.. time for bed man. i'm feeling sooo-sooo tired please.. bad news, my triple eyelids' back! >.<" wahahhas.. know what? i can get connected to dunno-whose-wireless! i'm using my lappy in my living room please! so damn happy! good spot and gonna mark it down here. wahahhas.. *faint. anyways, I'm off for now laaa. will be back to update, REAL SOON! nights, darling world.

To: Fiona & Aiting, 'N' lvls starting soon huhrr? good luck & all the best okays! jiayou ! cuz i know you gurls can do it ! ((:

loves,
ME. :D

`* & do you still care?

happy birthday, ting! ((:

2006-08-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday, Ting!!
All the best to you in Uni ; and may you find ur Mr.Right soon! =P
-with love, ur bestie.

------
*edited-:
Met up with bestie for lunch @ Suki Sushi today. What a bad day; cuz they don't have cream puff today. -_-" uh wells, didnt really ate much too. was busy talking away.. After which, went over to Hereen den down to Bugis to shop around. Uhh.. spent money again. and i'm officially declare B-R-O-K-E. =/ hais. bought the black belt ; bestie got the red one, got some pairs of earings and stuffs.. GET ME A JOB, someone. back home not long ago.. guess i'm gonna sleep early tonight. i'm tired.

3 more days den end of sem. Looking forward to holidays ; but not the changing of class. Man, tell me which class is so bonded - that goes for break in 1 whole group? W15E does! yes, and that's why only WISE people are in there! =P and i wonder wad kind of classmates will i get for next sem.. hais. class chalet is the upcoming event, follow by the IMF. horrible shit. My whole sept holidays' burnt out just like this. Couldnt go for bball chalet-cum-training too. Wonder is it a good thing or a bad thing. =/ uh wells, tired tired.

I AM OKAY ; FOR ALL I KNOW.
-

will update again den. =/

bryan & kh came to school !! ((:

2006-08-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

FCUKING TIRED PLEASE. today's trg not so bad ; but i kena scolded by coach quite a number of times.. sians. anyways, something to be elated about, was that bryan & kh came over to my school and look around! ((: whahahahs.. we had lunch together and talk cock about stuffs. thanks man, if not i'll die from hunger. =/ together with sel la, of cuz. duh. went to look for them after i've bought him and the frens lunch, due to his busy schedule, so i'm being one kind soul to get lunch for him. :D:D:D without realising that i'm hungry cuz i didn't had breakfast in the morning!

Our facil was nice today please! she brought us chips in the early - that's the reason why i didn't had anything during the first break out! wahhahahs..

luckily today's another slack day! woohoos! so happy please. I had a freaking 3 hours break! seriously don't have to do anything at all! that's why i can afford to walk around the whole bloody school with them. LOL! they went off at around 2 plus, while me & sel headed back for lessons. Thought can meet them after school ! but i've got bball trg.. awws.. oh wells, another time den.

Silly duckie has been freaking nice to me. FOR GOD'S SAKE. you won't know how touched and guilty I was when she passed me that something that I wanted. Ahh. I don't know how to explain but really, really. I didn't expect that from her please. =/

Hadn't bought bestie's present. I'm like, freaking broke already. Judging at this holidays gonna be a packed one for me ; and ESP for him. I doubt i'll get a job or so. haiss.. i'm tired. wanna sleep le. tml's lesson. thinking if i should be late for class anot. LOL, uh wells.. -ciaos!

self-declaring hols! =P

2006-08-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

uh huh, guess what. Skipped lessons after the test today. Expected, ain't it? just that my lect used "reverse psychology" to keep me back for lessons. damn, but still decided to go ahead with the plans cuz i was freaking tired. i overslpt till 7am ; what you expect? wanted to go home and zZz ; but berlinda wanna watch movie. So went ahead, afterall, it has been a long time since i've got a show. My Super Ex-girlfriend. not bad, thou kinda lame in some ways.. hahas, but still, quite funnie laa.. so so so many shows i wanna watchh.. awws. anyone, date me out for a movie pleasee..

Self-declared holidays are here now ; have totally no idea why are we still going school, prolly just to get better grades? or, ? no idea. anyway, i'm so-called in my holiday mood already.. can tell la huh, so many of us are all drawing out our plans like when should we go school ; or when should we just skipped and stay at home instead. =/ afterall, Semester One's tests are officially over! yayaya! but grades arent that fantastic heh.

Read back some enteries just now, dunno why, just read them. Realise that this whole incident was ridiculous. As in, the way i projected things out, the way things are like, seems so dumb. But what, feelings are there - that's why. Read back on one entry abt some holiday stuffs. uh huh, this holiday is coming. I wonderr.. will it still be like the past holiday? or, we're gonna drift futher away from each other? Hadn't seen him around - prolly due to skipping school and stuffs, that's why. asked me if I missed him, yes, i'll definately say , I DO MISS HIM LOADS. ):

hais. if only he know..

won't you miss me too. =/

i'm off. it's getting bored. prolly a short nap, den tv, den back to bed again. school tml? prolly, prolly not. uh wells.. BYE.

meeting up with pri sch frens!

2006-08-14T12:32:00.000+08:00

I'm a good girl today, someone praise me please. LoL. came school and yes, it is a right decision becuz today's a slack day. And i mean REAL SLACK PLEASE. we dont have to do powerpoint, nor anything. Our task is just to talk and stuffs - logically la of cuz. Last minute work aso can. I wanna sleep so badly but i guess i'm going to do so after i'm done with this entry. I dun feel well in my tummy and i dunch know why. :/ tennis later.. WOOHOOS.. ((:

anyways, met up with my fellow PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIENDS ; like omg. at least 10 years of friendship please. alot of them fly aeroplane last minute, but nevertheless, we still had hell lots of fun and we even talk back about the past, like who's in the same class as who when we're in Primary 1 and stuffs.. blah blah blah.. LOL. it all felt as if it was just yesterday!

Met up with Yishen @ woodlands after KidsREAD while he's there sending the gf to work. got Elisha a pressie and we bused down to St.Andrew's, down to serangoon and Kel picked us up! WOOHOOS! we're freaking late please. lol, kel drove and awws... it feels so good to be able to drive laaa.. like, someone please freaking buy me a car! i will love you. LOL. sounds so wrong, but wadever it is, headed to Glass House for foodddd.. *beams.. (i know it's 'So-Not-Me' to depend on a guy laa.. but for now at least, i depend this guy to get me a car. LOL. just crapping yah..) anyhows, wanting & elisha was there already ; left the 3 of us. The rest just fly us on SQ. so yahh, had a warmhearting talk but uhh, feel rather strange for a moment esp when they talk abt their own clubbing freinds ( they go clubbing together) so left me & elisha speechless. hahas, weird feeling after like, so many years den we gather together? talk about studying abroad, talk about buying cars, talk about being attached. -.-" uhh, i'm the only one who's NO STRINGS ATTACHED. dunch know should feel proud of it, or feel envious of them having the other one for them. =/ Headed to PS to walk ard, went to find Elisha's bf den Kel drove us down to Wisma and he's off. ((: he's so lucky, ain't he. LOL. he can drive us 3 ladies arond laaa.. wahhahas.. But anyway, left yishen with the 3 girls and he's aso another lucky one la! =X alrights, wadever. walked around but soon settle down @ Starbucks for coffee and started camwhoring session. lOl.. waited for Jingyuan to come. OMFG, you wont believe how much she've changed please. She's so pretty now laaaa.. i mean, yahh, all of them are pretty but the one who changed the most is her lorr. omg, freaking envious of her man. and wad, we agreed to meet up to club one day. LOL. provided someone's gonna drive me home after that.. wahhahahas.. siince kel stay quite near me ; uh wells, somehow la. hahas..

Went off to meet van & huijing for fireworks after that. I swear is freaking nice but i would prefer the friday night one. wahhahas.. thanks shen for accompanying me down to meet van first, met up at ard 745pm and there's freaking lots of people already. wahahhash... home at around 1am and K.O right after that.. Sleep in on sunday den went late lunch with family.. shopped around bugis and got myself a watch & a brown belt! =D~ waiting to get the black one. hehehex.. drove and busy nagging my mom to bring me to Shanghai !! :D aww my god. i seriously want a holiday, pleaseee..

I'm still waiting to meet up with bestie laaaa.. is like, her bbday coming soon, and i've yet to get her a present,.. mygoodness. August so many people's birthday.. =/ she's gonna get freaking busy as time goes by ; so i better get her out soon! perhaps with the rest too. wahahhas..

alrights, i'm off first den. gonna take a short nap and get ready for afternoon lessons. rahh.. long day ahead. =/ damn tired. oh ya, prolly tml's another pontan-ing day. LOL. date me, anyone? HA! see how again la.. 'nights'.

come & go ; like the wind -

2006-08-11T13:25:00.000+08:00

Miss me, anyone? sorry but i've been too busy & tired to blog lately. Life's still hectic as usual. pretty tired and that's all. Busy getting people to go watch fireworks with me. LoL. this is the only time which i think that having a bf is the best; WHY? becuz you need not search ard for people to go with you. ur bf will definately bring you there. isn't it so?

my one lill wish; to go with you. but i know it wont come true.

---

my double eyelid is backk!! WOOHOOS! so damn happy. LOL! slp for around 12 hours!! like, FINALLY pleasee. you won't know how tiring it is to have triple eyelids, for goodness' sake.

so, life's revolving ard fireworks & fireworks. met up with sweetie, yikai, sinlok & bingkun on tuesday. was pretty late. but sat at a very good spot to watch it. HA! did some recording too. Sat's one aso. 5 mins of it. hahahaa, National Day was @ Stadium.. had ticx so went with the usual 4s. damn nice laaaa.. the fireworks too! * loves! headed to geylang for steamboat buffet or sth.. so-so only. bused home and was damn tired & slpt late too. was talking to Bryan and he's leaving for Shanghai soon! awwws.. )): will miss him lots laaaaa.. *ahem* uh okay. anyway, headed to school the next day, went for test and guess wat? we pon after that! LOL! cas skipped lessons! OMFG. can u imagine that. wahahhas.. headed to solomon's house with manqing, liping, wanning, minky, & cheryl. chunbin & alan went back on their own. they played mahjong while i slpt in the living room with my lappy beside me. Lol. freaking tired please. wanning & minky was like playing some game or dunno what, till they shifted the fan away den woke me up. cuz is just freaking too HUMID please. =/ headed to Outram to meet the usual 4s again, cuz sel's fren family open a cafe.. go see see.

uh wells, did i mention that i was supposed to be down for bball ytd? didnt go either. just lose interest in everything, suddenly. dunno why. tennis trial on monday, shall see how.

uh, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to BOONKENG & ELISHA !! all the best to you guys! ((:

i'm gonna get prepared to go out. wanna go 3rd sis house! WOOTS. meeting jing for fireworks tonight. holidays' coming.. IMF stuffs coming up & it's another round of busy time for my hols again.. survivathon coming too.. uhh, not forgetting chalet! oh yes! berlinda's bbday celebration was a success! thanks to manqing & solo & the whole of w15E that makes it a success! wahahahs.. will talk abt it when they've sent me the phtotos. I can't stand it now. dunno who's doing the renovation, damn noisy! cas' outta!

trying to accept who she is..

2006-08-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

Now's late at night. I'm just back from ITE SIMEI after a game with them. Oh wells, saw miaoli, expected. ahhahas, crap our ass off and she cant stop shouting out my name. everyone's looking at me especially nana they all. Even when she's on court she still shout my name out! >.< Coach heard and ask who's she shouting @. OMG, i had to hide myself before she gives me that stern look.. =/ wahhahas.. Anyway, she has been the kind soul la.. thanks heh! brought us down to the canteen to get drinks, thanks alot girl, and vicky can't stop disturbing her & she was so shy! lol. i ate half a box of her chocos away without realising it ; J took it from me, happily thot that it was mine, and ate it all up. LOL. till i told her it wasn't mine, she was so embarrassed please! lol. damn funnie. anyway, i didnt get to play today's match. Coach did ask who wanna play, but i kept quiet while chanel kept calling out my name. doesn't matter anyway, coach was mad at us i guess for not going to training last thursday. Egg didn't go either, but coach still puts her in. hmms, kinda bored. headed down to tamp after that to get some stuffs and bused home str8. reached and chiong my hw, den to realise that the submission time was 1.59am. frigging shit. made me rush my ass off. but better off aso. i need to sleep. there's maths test in the frigging morning. =/

thinking of whether to pon after the test anot. shall see how den. oh wells.. i'm tired. gotta go off to bed now. nites pple~! fireworkks tmll! WOOHOOS! <3 ((:

--------------

they once said, if you really love a person, den you've gotta accept who he/she is.

right now, i'm trying to accept who you are; because I've no idea why, i would fall for you. given all the factors that I don't like in searching for the other one. sighed.. why must you disappoint me? =/ or perhaps, it's just you. and that we belong to different worlds...

I need time.. in need of time to accept who you are..

sighed.

fireworkss!!

2006-08-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Egg, Duckie and suyan (sp?) who accompanied me for the fireworks session last night! I'll never miss any single session of fireworks laaa.. oh wells. initially asked Egg only, but gonna be so weird right, so i msg duckie and ask her where's she. Suyan, duckie's "gf" is such a funnie person please. pretty lady sehh. Chanel didnt came along cuz she was busy laaa.. wasted. anyway, fireworks was awesome! ((: i even record the first 5 mins of it la.. thot going home after that.. walked to cityhall, send suyan off, den went back to Esplanade again. OMFG, i swear my legs hurts like shit please. and on my way back to Esplanade bumped onto so many people. i only remember my cousin, mel & amelia pong. LOL. mel saw me and hit my head with this brochure.. damn funnie. thot he drove and can send me back.. but he didnt la.. aiseh.

Went back to Esplanade, sat that the stones area for almost an hour i guess. My ass hurts like some shit after sitting for so long. Listening to music, chatting, singing, stoning... Stare out to the sky and the sea, alot of things came running into my mind under the stars. wonder what should I do, or how should i do. don't ask me what's wrong. cuz i've got no idea aso. i reckon that another round of mis-understanding is coming soon.

sighed.

i'm lost at words ; lost in this world once again .

Just disappointed ? perhaps, it doesn't matter to you at all .

Or perhaps, i'm just having high expectation of you & myself .

I'm sorry .

There're so many things to tell you, or rather, just want you to know . but sometimes, my heart just won't open up & i don't know why .

Alrights, i know it myself . that it doesn't mean anything to you at all . yes i know .

W . H . Y `

2006-08-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

It seems like i'm just making myself happy from nothing at all.

yes yes yes. it's all just about the both you and her. so be it den.

RAHH. fuck it. life just sucked.

and you left nothing, but tears in my eyes.

i wished i would feel numb now.

JUST WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU THINKING, WHY CANT YOU TELL ME.

want to play mind-guessing game right?

FINE DEN.

W . H . Y

2006-08-03T21:29:00.000+08:00

Read through the past conversations that we had in the past, from the start of the very first conversation made me smile.. and my smile gets wider as i scroll downwards for more.. you'll never noe how much i wanted back those conversations we used to have.. how caring you can be, how well you'll assured me that everything will be okae that period of time.

why are we like this now?

Misunderstandings never failed to get into our way. And if you don't bother to clear it up with me, what makes you think that I know what's going on? There you are, thinking that I'm not taking initiative. And when I did, all i got back was 'coldness' from you. God knows why. And when I thot we're drifting apart, can't you say something nicer other than your Usuals. It makes me feel even worst please. I feel so retarded.

Oh Lord. Save me us, please.

Take away your nonchalent attitude please. It does no help to the both of us at all.

Cleared the air already? I don't know. But somehow, the sky's still kinda hazy. Wonder why. =/

------

well at least we manage to talk today, and meet up for awhile during lunch time. Went to Selina's( one of my classmates) hostel to take a look! Bloody hell, is so damn nice please! she's staying at the 12 floor and the scenery is soooooo damnn nice. superb windy aso laaa! Her balcony's facing our school.. lucky her man! she managed to get that unit. Some of us went up.. and brought him along too. kept very quiet during our walk to hostel and the feeling's so weird. :/ now i realise that my school's God-damn big. From my tutorial block to the hostel is sooo damn far please! luckily the building is air-conditioned ! wahhahahas.. now i realise this sucky school of mine has its own beauty too, yeah! I wished I can find 6 good frens and stayed in hostel too man! that saves up my travelling time sooosooo much pleaseee. imagine lessons starts at 8.30, and i can sleep till 8am! how great life can be! :D Sports complex ready to be-in-use soon! 6 tennis courts + 3 basketball-cum-volleyball courts (i supposed) + swimming pool! OMG! i've yet to stepped into the indoor complex yet. I'm waiting for the trail for tennis.. lalalala.. oh btw, i gave bball trg a missed today. =/ hais. Egg & duckie didnt go either. blahs, have been hanging out with them lately after school for awhile.. just so sian please. lalalalla.. oh ya, we're even planning to have a house party next tuesday in the hostel laaa! for berlinda's bbday! wahhahahs! hopefully it will be successful man.. afterall, we're gonna go separate ways after this sem.. hais.

and you know what, i actually intend to skip school on that day laa. faggot shit. Initially had forgotten that there's test in the morning, happily thot of skipping sch and going back to CCHY for celebration.. damn it. when i recall that i've got test in the morning.. i thot of running after the test. LOL. i can sure find alot of kakis for tat day laaa. But now, with berlinda's bbday bash gonna held @ Selina's hostel, how am I going to pon lehh? liping they all pon on just this past tuesday after the test man, to where? to solomon's house for mahjong. damn sia, wonder why i didnt go la. sighed. should have run man.. :/ oh wells, but due to time constrains, we are only left with 2 weeks more - to cherish the time we have. But nevertheless, I thank God for this wonderful class this semester. ((: wonderful clique of people. W15E = wise, you guys just rawks my socks pleaseeee! :D love you guys!

I'm off for my show now. Armed Reactions! wahhahas..

i just wonder whyy..

waited & waited..

2006-08-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

Staring into spaces at this hour certainly won't do me any help at all. Either I go to bed now, so that I can have my beauty sleep; or, i won't be able to wake up tml morning for school.

Waited and waited ; but it never comes.

Have you ever waited for that someone to come-by, just to say "hie" or wadsoeva. Gladly even though is a "hie" and no further replies, as long as the conversation window did popped-up at my screen, I'll smile like this . -> :D:D:D:D

Bytheway, that was how smiley I was in the afternoon. Just by waiting for you to make the first move. And now, i wonder why, mood just swinging high and low. Phone doesn't rings that frequent any longer, coming online seemed so even bored. I waited, and waited, till I fall asleep. Hoping that the next morning when I look at my phone, it will states, "1 message received" - hoping that the person will be you. But it was never you. Never it was you, for the past few days.

I kind of regretted not going to DXO that night.Yet, I very much regretted not walking over to Esplanade just to take a glance at you, gladly even though that I'm just @ MS. You won't know how much I wanna see you, even though I said I'm not going over.

I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. Won't you come back to me? Won't you tell me what went wrong? Won't you tell me why are we drifting apart? Won't you tell me that I'm just ASSUMING things again - and is just that you're pretty busy with work lately. I'll promise you whatever you want me to do. As long as you return back here, I won't mind just being beside you.

You're driving me nuts. You're hanging me in suspense that I could not breathe any longer.. And, tml's Wednesday. sighed. ):

pretendence?

2006-07-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

No idea why, whenever it rains lately, it felts as if those were the tears of mine. I looked out of the window, look at those raindrops that spilts onto the window panel, each drop I've seen, reminds me of everything that's going on in my life. The past, the current, and thinking what would happen in the near future.

It's raining now. and i'm stuck here.

"hold my hand, shelter me away."

do you get what i mean?

I feel so insecure whenever you don't treat me like how you used to do so. I am thinking of so many things yet I don't know what are they. I don't know why. Tired of all these now. In your world, was it only her , that exist? Yes I know you love her, and I know she feels the same way too. what exactly have happen? keeping me in suspense won't do me any good either. How i wish that you would know that I don't feel okay at all. complicating shit, yes it is. I just don't know what i want at times. I just don't feel good whenever i read-up some stuffs. my mind would just wander off and running wild.

I look back at the past, those times we had. those short yet lively joyful single moments we had spent. dunno was it that you just needed someone to be around and i happen to be there, so you pick me. but nevertheless, thanks for those times. You won't know how elated I was.

I missed those times we had. How about you?

You've promised me on other stuffs too. Have you forgotten about them?

Can i don't pretend and act like nothing has happen, in front of you? Can I show you the "I-don't-care-what-has-happen" look in front of you and continue to be happy like always? when I smile, you think i'm really smiling from the bottom of my heart? when i frown, do you know what's on my mind?

There're times when i don't even know what I'm doing. So much so of wanting to give up on you, but i jollywell know i can't do so. but yet, i don't wanna waste time anymore. I rather there's no one occupying my heart - at least i'll be more carefree. i can't give up on you, you can't give up on her, and i guess she cant give up on you too. is like a cycle, you see it?

and if i take my leave, will you notice it?
and if i take my leave, will you hold me back?

- No, i know you won't.

((: surprise with a message! weeeee!

2006-07-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

forget about that previous entry. Boy, i just wanna do some typing that's all. lol, yes i know it's dumb. wadeva. anyway, dinner was great with them. took some photos and now waiting for them to send it to me. they've change so much man.. guess i'm the only one who remains the same! wahahhas.. After dinner, went around MS to walk around - and i've bought a skirt! (: weeeee.. cheap cheap $15 bucks. from Blossomz. muahhahs.. wad kinda cheered me up was his little msg to me. muahhahas, alrights. dumb i know. anyway, he's partying now while i'm slacking at home, thinking wad time to go to bed, like i'm so GOD-DAMN-TIRED please. oh wells, wanted to go over to look for him. but didn't. bused home with mongy and we've got so much tons of things to chat! love you, mongy~! my great advisor~!! wahahhas!! thanks anyways! ((:

anyways, kidsREAD prog today was kinda screwed up somehow. i was the mass reading coordinator laa! you've got no idea how anxious i was man. esp there's one boy, who's so super hyber and when i'm reading he can't stop talkinggggg.. rahhH! =/ but anyway, overall was great cuz we'hd photo session! muahahs.. camwhore time man. took alot but below those are with some with my face!! whaahhas.. you know how much i love themm!! =x

this is the 1st session's group.

you've illy, me, ber, cindy.. the rest are busy with their group of kids! =D

one of my boys' - Kenneth! wonder why that look siaa.. lol..

ALOYSIUS !! xD

me & natashaaa !! xD~

they're colouringg..

=DDD~~ omggg. i <3 her!

don't ask me why i gave such a smile. i know it looks retarded, but it just happen to be tat smile la?!? lol.

i knew he'll be smiling like this, so i followed him. ((:

2nd session, spot me man! (:

omg, get me a sugar-daddy please. there's so much things i wanna buy! time to clear my cupboard and get a new one!! ((: wahahhas.. sighed. omg, i'm so sleepy now. plans for hols, anyone? and finally, new air-con canteen's open and at least the food is so much edible as compared to the first foodcourt. No aircon, expensive and inedible food was presented to us. how retarded. the new canteen's so much better than the old one man. Guess wad's the name of it? "food haven" ; and we agreed totally man. the new one's "Heaven" ; while the old one's "Hell." lol, we cant stop sniggering to ourselves whenever we talk about it. please for goodness's sake. drop by to have a meal and you'll get what i mean.

i'm off to bed man. i guess. no, prolly after a game or sth. wahahhas.. anyways, fireworks, anyone?! NDP's fireworksssss!! can't wait to go for all the sessions laaaa..!!

i missed the kids, i missed shopping, and most of all, i missed you. =]

Disappointed.

2006-07-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

Back home after the match with NP, yes, we won. But guess what? i'm pretty disappointed. Disappointed in myself. Coach just said that "I don't know how to play bball.." yea, pretty sad that I "let go" the balls to the opponent team a few times, RAHH ! just so freaking disappointed in myself. To think that I was once a school team player ; to think that I love bball so much but yet i didn't do well in it. Contradicting piece of shit, aint it so ?

"Hadn't played for years ?" - that's just an excuse!!! 3-pointer shoot wasn't a problem to me in the past, look, wad's now? I can't even get the ball in and bring back my own self-confidence. Spell this, "D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D." =/

Nobody understands.

& you` ; you're just another one big-time disappointment to me too. Do as you deem fit. I can't be bothered anymore. I had enough of one-sided r/s. Letting you go may do you good. perhaps, i wasn't even in your eyes at all. Tell me about it ; if you're attached back again. I'm not some dumbass whom you think i don't know anything.

I find myself so sick ; fancy getting so depressed over these kind of SHITS. Wad on earth have I own you guys in my previous life man. FCUK IT.

Skipped school today ; and out with bestie ting. bought some stuffs and headed back to school to meet the rest. HP kena bombard by msgs when i'm still sleeping. tat's why never reply to some of you guy's msgs. Guess i'm the only one who skipped today's lesson. who cares anyway. I cant be bothered to attend school any longer. frigging shit. I just wished that I can transfer my ass out of this school.

One big time round of disappointment, CASEYCHIN. you prolly can jollywell go die or sth, nobody will pity you.

Disappointed: school work ;

r/s ;

bball skills ;

stamina ;

you .

Life's been hectic, really.

A loser in life ; a failure in everything .

`` & -

things are not the same anymore...

assure me ..

2006-07-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

I'm so hungry nowww. Had only the breakfast in the morning and a stick of chicken chunks in the afternoon, nothing else. In front of me now is a cup of Green Bean Soup that dad wants me to finish it up. With no complains, of course, you wouldn't know how hungry I am.

Cut the crap, and start my rants.
- won't you assure me?

tell me, how would you not feel worried and paranoid when you missed that someone and yet you guys didn't even talk for more than 20 sentences? =/ Am i being the paranoid SHIT, or what? 2nd night already. His lappy was down for service and that makes things even worst! Ytd night i had to bring myself to watch a drama show , just to divert my attention away from thinking of those negative stuffs away before i could get to sleep.. i guess i'm gonna do the same thing tonight. Finally, this is the first time when he asked what am I thinking, i managed to tell him how i feel. rather retarded i must say, but i had no choice just to trash it out. "Perhaps he was busy, that's why I'll feel that he's treating me 'hot & cold' at times." but i really wonder what happened these 2 nights, all i got from him was just , "gtg nites.." when i just came online. Like DUH, I could have jollywell go to bed la, you know how freaking late & tired i was after bball trg last night, and still get myself glued to the squarebox, just hopping to hear something nice from him, and yet what he gives you in return was nothing but a "i'm off first, nights."

-___________________________________-"

If you were in my shoes, how would you feel?

I've tried to be nice to myself, telling myself not to think so much, as what he've told me. How on earth can I don't think so much, when he's treating me like this now? Rahhh ! you won't know how much i'm missing him, neither will he knows. omg, wad a retarded shit am i doing now. tml's wednesday - i don't expect anything better. damn it.

feeling so lousy now. wonder why. went to watch bball match @ NYP just now. A walk back to the school - that has almost been my school. RP guys vs NYP guys. We were leading at first.. den NYP caught up with us.. Oh wells, not bad i would say.. hahas.. Fo'en still playing.. =) not bad still.. hahas.. but i missed those days in chungcheng, where we will never fail to catch any of the guys match! lol.. cuz it's damn exciting laa.. hahas.. had a little catch-up with him here & there.. den headed to do hw @ AMK macs. just back home not long ago only la.. damn freaking tired.. talking about bball, i wonder is it a good thing, or a bad thingy - not to be in the school team. =( kinda feel sad & disappointed la, cuz afterall, bball has been my love always. not getting into the school team which means i wont be able to play on court anymore, representing the school. On the other hand, perhaps is my skills & stamina has been going downslope, thats why.. How i wished he's around to "console" me and to give me advices. glady even if he talks rubbish to me, i just wanna hear him out. but he isn't around for me.. =/

Disappointed.

Or was it
time to walk away,
and not to look back anymore.

- when you fall out of love,
that's where it's hard to pick things up,
and move on.

S2006! YOU surprised me! (:

2006-07-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

So, i didn't went for the kidsREAD prog today.. felt horribly bad b'cuz i'm supposed to commit for 3 months, you see? and now, I've this S2006 thingy coming along, i guess that there're a few Saturdays that i've to sacrifice the kids. Omg, i missed the kids hell lots. Especially Aloysius & Natasha! awwxs.. =/ anyways, thanks to Ber, for looking after my kids! ((:

went drinking with jing & char last night. fcuk, i hate to drink when i'm super tired. and they seems like wanting me to spell things out myself ya! *humphh~ lol. but anyway, i wasnt drunk la. so still aware of wad i'm talking. lol.. just tat i got so blooody tired that i fall asleep at the bus-stop while waiting for bus with jing. Lol.. really, fall asleep can? basket. so tired that i dont wanna walk back home, lol. took a cab into my house area instead. lol.. reach home and K.O str8. having slight headache, as usual la.

Down for S2006 trg in the morning, Dad drove me down to Starhub Centre in the morning cuz woke up late. waited for Cedric aso. pratically all of them were late.. so, dun care la. lol. guess who i saw there?! HIM! (((: *smiles like a retarded freak.- i thot my eyes was playing tricks on me cuz i saw the reflection through the mirrors of the lift. den realise that it was really him! lol. shocked me out ; cuz he didn't told me he's joining this event.. so aiehh. but anyways, we're in different rooms la. haha! some of his frens are in my class! *lalalaa.. anyways, didn't get to meet up with him la, since we'hd different timings for breaks & stuffs. rahh! but he passed me his jacket during lunch timee.. *smiles widely. cuz i told him i was cold. rahh.. didn't expect that from him la.. hahas, oh wells, prolly is wad a frend would do la, so, be it. at least he bothers to lend me. :D den here comes the boring part! after lunch, everyone was so sleepy that we dose off! LOL! not forgetting me, of cuz. slpt late last night ; woke up early today. how would you expect me not to fall asleep!?! things got slightly better when it was tea time again. lol.. fooddd~~ lol. den home sweet home at around 5pm! went home to sleep for awhile, den out for dinner le. damn frigging tired. i'm gonna sleep early tonight too, like you think i will? make a guess den! hahas!

Bball friendly match this thurs with NP, like wth. NP. ARGH. i had intentions to skip school on that day laa.. bloody hell got match. oh wells, shall see how. afterall, i'm just one of the bench-warmers to be. so whether i'm there anot it doesn't makes a difference. =/ whahahaha..

tired tired. tml's another long dayy.. but will be meeting Carol & gang up! yayayas! finally! after so long, we're gonna chill out tml! and wad's the most happy thing is CArmenn going along too! Carmenn: you don't know how happy Carol was when i told her you're meeting us man! lol!

Ah, alrights. gotta go now. thinking if i should wake up for breakfast with my family tml! oh wells, shall see how den. photos time! Thanks to Ber who took it laa.. i swear i'm bringing my cam next week! =) Aloysius was shy ; and he didnt wanted to take pictures! hahahas.. gd nites, pple!

Natasha & her frens!

and she've brought a new frend again! ((: omg, she's so cute pleaseeee!!

* i tried to hold on to you ;
but you choose to let go,
and i fell ...

let YOU go?

2006-07-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

I guess i need some time - alone.
I wonder how am I going to face you, tml. (or, perhaps, there wont be a chance to even get a glimpse of you.)
Starting to doubt everything you've said..
Sorry does no help now.
I've no idea on how to continue the conversation after the word, "sorry".
Guess she's still in love with you, prolly deeper than me.
Letting you go hurts her alot too.
You guys will be back fine - together again ; some time.
Spare the formality.
I don't need a "thank you" from you even after I've "consoled" you.

I just need time.
To cool myself down, to get myself out of your life ...
and,
to be back the old me.

But then again,
the old me,
has gone missing ;
ages ago.
If whoever found the old me back ;
please,
bring it back to me.